Will Tall Women Ever Be Seen As Feminine? | How Society Forces Us To Prove Our Femininity

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[00:00:29] Good morning, everybody. You are currently listening to A Tall Girls Podcast, hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who's tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say, make sure you're following me on my socials at A Tall Girls Podcast on Instagram and Pinterest. That's going to take some time to get used to on Instagram and Pinterest. I mean, I have Facebook if you guys want to check that out, but just Instagram and Pinterest at the moment

[00:00:56] so that you can stay up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave me a review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. And I have a monthly newsletter. You should definitely subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. So yeah, TikTok is officially gone, y'all. Like, they did not waste any time. Fun fact, I'm recording this on the Sunday, January 19th, when the day that it's supposed to be banned.

[00:01:24] And on January 18th, Saturday, which was yesterday, I spent three hours, three full hours downloading mad TikTok videos. I really didn't do the thing that a lot of other people do where they save like places to go or itineraries or recipes and so forth and like helpful tips. Like, I didn't really do those, but I do use TikTok videos for these podcast episodes.

[00:01:51] So when I tell you I was scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, downloading, downloading, downloading, uploading, uploading, uploading, uploading, uploading. Like, I was doing the thing. Like, I was doing the thing. Like, I was doing mad work. And it took me three hours to at least get a lot of the clips that you'll probably hear or see in this episode, as well as a couple for future episodes. Not a whole lot, but there are some there.

[00:02:17] Alright, so update. I basically went on this whole rant for nothing because TikTok is back. The literal chaos. If you open the app, you're going to see a notification that says that TikTok is officially banned. And all you have, all the only options that you have is to learn more about it, which I guess I take you to a separate link, or to close the app. You cannot scroll through anything. You will not see anything. There's nothing, like, there's nothing to look at. And I'm like, wow. They didn't even wait till the day of.

[00:02:47] Y'all did it the night before. And I know that a lot of people were probably like, okay, I'm just going to download some videos tonight. Like, you couldn't even, you couldn't even do that the night before. So, very interesting. Um, we'll see what happens as time goes on. They're supposed to be saying that the new president is going to try to save it, but I don't know. It is what it is. Alright, enough of that. Let's move on to something. A better topic of discussion, I will say myself.

[00:03:14] And we're going to be talking about how tall women are perceived as masculine. And also how some of us tend to overcompensate for that, I guess you could say, by being hyper-feminine, acting hyper-feminine. And this is going to make more sense as the episode goes on. Now, I've discussed on this podcast several times how tall women are perceived as masculine.

[00:03:37] I've done whole episodes on tall girl stereotypes and even how if people see that you are a tall black or a tall darker-skinned woman, they perceive you as more masculine. So, I've discussed that a lot, but now I kind of want to discuss the other side, the flip side of it, where some of us, even me included, especially in my younger years,

[00:03:58] try to kind of go against that in a sense where we act overly feminine and doing things that are just basically out of character for us so that people don't perceive us in that way. And this was actually inspired by a Reddit post. I'm going to put it on the screen. If you're watching the video version of this, you can read it, but if you're listening to the audio version, I will summarize it. Essentially, the post is titled, I believe, like, Overcompensating with Femininity.

[00:04:25] So, essentially, this tall woman has been jokingly called a man before, which is just terrible. I'm so sorry that that happened to her. And she tried to please others who said that she's not enough of a woman by overcompensating with femininity. So, she has an androgynous style. She likes masculine things like cars and gaming.

[00:04:47] I'm assuming that people's actions or what they're saying about her and her jokingly calling her a man and probably calling her masculine and all that stuff, those perceptions are making her feel as though she's failing as a woman. And this is something that lots of tall women go through. And there are a lot of layers to this, so let's just dive right in. So, why do people come at us for being more masculine? Let's talk about why that's the case.

[00:05:13] It's because in many Western cultures, especially in America, being tall is considered one of the top, if not the most top desired traits for men. In our American society, the taller you are, the more masculine you're perceived to be. The more powerful, the stronger you're perceived to be. The more leadership capabilities you have.

[00:05:36] In our patriarchal society, where men are super about that power, it's considered one of the most powerful traits a man can have. And not just in dating, but also in things that they care about. Athletics. Corporate America and their work life. How much money they're going to make. If they're going to make it to the C-suite, because most CEOs are over six feet. For men, being tall is like having a base card for a woman.

[00:06:01] Where pretty women are perceived to have it easier in life, or to be given ultimate advantages in life. The pretty privilege. Being tall means you're given a lot of privileges for men. So first, let's dive into the masculinity side of things very briefly. Very briefly, because I have discussed this several times before on this podcast. But sometimes it feels like as a tall girl, you just gotta be prepared for somebody to call you a man. Oh my gosh, did I really just say that? Well yes, because somebody literally called me sir the other day.

[00:06:29] But to some people, being tall as a woman makes you less feminine in their eyes. Well why is this the case? We all know that height equates to masculinity. People often assume that men are the taller ones. Well because A, they tend to hit puberty later. So biologically, I guess that makes sense. But also because of societal norms. We see in the media, we see on social media and so forth that men typically are the taller ones. Men typically are the taller ones in relationships.

[00:06:57] The taller the man is, the more likely it is to hold a higher position of power. A higher position at his workplace. And we're shown from time to time again, to be accepted as a woman. To be seen as beautiful as a woman. You have to be short or petite. Listen to this clip really quickly. Okay, so this video is for all my tall girlies out there. Have you ever been in a situation where like, you walk up to ask someone a question or something like that.

[00:07:24] Or like, tap someone on the shoulder and they turn around and they just automatically assume you're a man because you're taller. So they'll be like, yes sir. Or like, you know, can I help you sir? Or something like that. And then they like, see you. And they're like, oh crap, you're a woman. So then they have to like, swallow their words back. Has that ever happened to you? I don't know. It happens to me fairly often. Like, or I'll like walk up at a cash register and they'll be like, thank you sir.

[00:07:54] And then they look up from their register and they're like, oh crap, you're a female. And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'm so sorry. And I'm like, happens more than you would think. And like, I don't feel like I look like a manly man by any means. I mean, usually I'm in, I'm in dresses fairly often. Yes, sometimes I wear my husband's clothes. Those are even more understandable. But it happened today with me in a dress. And it only happens if it's like I'm standing up. If I'm sitting down somewhere, it never happens.

[00:08:23] Um, I'm like, I don't think I look like a man. Maybe I do. Um, which is a whole nother story, I guess. But I just, I want to know if this has happened to anyone else. But yeah. And then it's kind of like exemplified in a way, this idea of masculinity, but also in a way just not being accepted overall. That's kind of like amplified when you're tall and plus size, tall and darker skin, tall and

[00:08:51] black, or even if you're tall with a more athletic build. So when people kind of like perceive you in this more masculine light and treat you differently or treat you in a way that you don't want to be treated, that kind of leads to the first point in that previous Reddit post. Trying to quote unquote please others who don't perceive you as feminine even though you want to be perceived that way. But first I want to play this clip really quickly to show how we feel about the situation.

[00:09:17] As a tall woman, it really is hard to establish our femininity to the world. People are always constantly, my whole life, I'm always being compared to men, to tall men. And it's just annoying because here I am, a very feminine person. I love wearing girly things. I'm a very much, I'm very much a girly girl. I love dresses. I love heels. I love skirts. That type of thing.

[00:09:45] So when I'm wearing those things, okay sure you can tell I'm a woman, but if I'm not, like people are automatically assuming something. They're automatically assuming I'm a stud or I'm gay or, you know, just stupid things. And it's just annoying that like the beauty standards I guess that we carry in this world is around like short, petite, small women. I did ask you guys in a poll over on Instagram and also just want to say here, if you want

[00:10:11] to participate in these polls and have your opinions heard and shared on these episodes, make sure you follow me at a tall girls podcast on Instagram so you could do that. But I did ask you guys in a poll, have you ever felt pressure to act more feminine because of your height? 53% of you guys said, yeah, I sometimes do. And 47% of you said, no, not really. I did not think it was going to be this close, but I can kind of understand the, yeah, I do

[00:10:39] sometimes type of situation, especially when it comes to being in a group of friends, for example, or in a new setting, but also even like in the workplace, you know? So I can definitely understand that. So it's definitely interesting to see that there's an even mix and I'm honestly happy for the 47% of you guys that said, no, not really, because having that pressure looming over your head can just be very stressful, especially when you feel like you have to act

[00:11:08] a certain way in order to be accepted in an environment that you have to be in. So that could be school, that could be work, that could even be when you live with other family members, but you can't afford to move out and so forth. So yeah, very interesting results here. And please keep in mind, this is more so has to do with the people who want to actually be perceived as feminine. It's pretty much all about how people want to be perceived. And this is specifically for those, the tall women who want to be perceived as feminine,

[00:11:37] who want to give off feminine vibes, who just want to be feminine in general. But she said in the video, we have to establish our femininity in the world. So in a way that's kind of saying we have to prove our femininity to other people. We have to find ways to show others that we're feminine because we're already tall and we may have features or personality traits that other people deem as masculine or dress a certain way that people also deem as masculine.

[00:12:06] So we have to do way more to quote unquote establish our femininity. We have to do way more to balance out those masculine traits or features or whatever that people see. Some of us tall girls get called masculine or intimidating so much that we feel the need to overcompensate by being or acting hyper feminine. Did that even make any sense? What I'm saying is that we may try to prove our femininity by overly exaggerating feminine behaviors.

[00:12:35] And just as a little definition, hyper femininity is the exaggerated adherence to a feminine gender. So what exactly does hyper feminizing yourself look like as a tall woman? Always wearing very feminine clothes to soften your height? Adopting performative mannerisms like speaking in a higher pitched voice and even a mix of both. Not to say that any of those things are really bad things, but if it's not who you truly are, then you may be subconsciously trying to fit into a mold that...

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[00:13:33] That isn't meant for you. I did ask you guys in another poll, have you ever felt like you had to prove your femininity slash womanhood to other people? 13% said yes, people claim that I'm masculine, which I am so sorry that this happens to you, especially if you don't want to be perceived that way. 61% said, hmm, sometimes, but I just stopped caring. And 26% said, no, I have nothing to prove to anyone.

[00:14:01] I am so glad that the majority picked the last two. I'm so happy that the majority of you guys picked the last two, especially with the, I just stopped caring because people will literally try to put their opinions on you, put their perceptions on you and so forth, and just expect you to change the way you are just to satisfy their expectations or just try to see if they can get you to change their minds. That is way too much.

[00:14:30] We got too many things to do than that. So yes, I'm so glad that a lot of us are just not caring about what people think of us. Hell yeah to the, I have nothing to prove to anyone because you don't, okay? The only one that you have anything to prove to, I guess, is yourself. If you remember nothing else from this episode, remember that you are the only one that you had to prove anything to, period. Okay. Back to the episode.

[00:14:59] And I noticed a pattern when I was scrolling through TikTok that when some people commented under a tall woman's post that she's masculine or something along those lines, that tall woman would do a response video to that comment wearing a flowy, a cute flowy dress and just spinning around. And that kind of gives off the idea that if you want other people, key phrase, other people

[00:15:23] to perceive you as feminine, you have to dress this way, which causes us to then internalize that idea that, okay, we have to dress this way if we want other people to see us as feminine. And listen, I understand that the way you dress definitely does play a part in how people perceive you, but that's not like the end all type of thing. There are so many other factors that go into it. And yes, part of it is how you look, how you dress and so forth.

[00:15:52] But there's so much more that goes into how, in my personal opinion, into how you are perceived by people. And I don't know. I think that dressing a certain way isn't really up there on the list for me. But anyways, hyper-feminizing ourselves as tall women is a defense mechanism to avoid being seen as masculine. But the problem is, if we're not naturally like that on a day-to-day basis, then we're not being our authentic selves. And that can be very exhausting.

[00:16:22] Wearing clothes that we don't like, wearing clothes that we wouldn't wear, or speaking in a higher pitched voice, or just doing things or doing certain behaviors. It's like we're doing these performative actions for other people. And in turn, we're kind of losing sight of ourselves and losing sight of who we truly are. And it's like, for what? To fit in? To change other people's perceptions of us? I personally don't think that's worth it. Let's listen to this clip.

[00:16:50] My issue is a man saying that he doesn't date a tall woman because tall women aren't and cannot be feminine. Now, don't get me wrong, friends. We all know this is complete BS. It has nothing to do with tall women not being feminine. Hmm. I love that for him. The issue is your insecurity. That's also like tall women have to defend the fact that they were born women.

[00:17:15] I never had anyone ask me if I was born female because women are not this tall until I moved to Texas. And I'm not coming for you, Texas only. I'm coming for all of you from Oklahoma, Nebraska, Arkansas, Missouri, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and anyone who is from a state that is asking a tall woman if she was born female strictly because she's tall. Do you know how ignorant you sound? Even if you were thinking it, you should keep that to yourself. I just wanted to come back on and kind of glue everything together.

[00:17:44] Or it's funny. I used to say duct tape. Like if things are falling apart, just duct tape it back together. Not to say that this episode is falling apart, but I'm just used to saying duct tape things. But we could do better than duct tape today. So we're going to glue everything that I basically said. So essentially, people often see tall women as masculine because, you know, as I've said before, height equals masculinity.

[00:18:10] The taller you are, the more masculine people think you are or see you as or whatever. And then of course, if you have other traits that other people deem as masculine, that masculinity can be amplified. That perception can be amplified. Yes. And ultimately, that perception can affect how people treat us and how we're viewed by others around us and even the type of people that we attract into our lives. And, you know, some of us don't want to be perceived as masculine.

[00:18:40] Some of us want to be perceived as feminine. And so we basically feel the need to hyper-feminize ourselves. We feel the need that in order to avoid this label, we have to do certain things to kind of overcompensate for our height or other traits that society may deem as masculine.

[00:19:03] So this might look like dressing in very feminine outfits and like dresses, for example, or even just wearing pastel colors, speaking in a higher pitched voice, trying to appear more delicate in our mannerisms or even being less assertive than we normally would be. And I'm trying to say, I'm not saying that these things are bad. Dressing in a feminine way is not a bad thing.

[00:19:33] Speaking in a higher pitched voice, especially if you naturally have a higher pitched voice is not a bad thing. Doing the delicate mannerisms is not like a bad thing. If you're naturally not an assertive person, that's also not a bad thing. I'm just saying that if that's not who you are as a person, if you're naturally assertive, if you like wearing darker colors or like more so wearing pants and so forth or jumpsuits

[00:20:00] and so forth, if you naturally have a deeper voice and so forth, if you naturally are not the things before that are like the characteristics of hyper-femininity, I guess, if you are naturally the opposite of those, but you're acting in a way that is out of character for you, that's personally when I see it as a not so good thing.

[00:20:24] And while it's understandable that we do it, it's understandable why we do it, it can just really lead to acting in ways that just are not natural to who we really are. Being performative just to prove, Hey, I'm feminine. Please like, I don't know, treat me as such, or I want these type of people in my life as well because of my personality and so forth is not only exhausting, but it also limits our

[00:20:52] ability to fully embrace our authentic selves. So when we constantly see these types of things, um, in the media, um, or just in general that, Oh, in order to be perceived this way, you have to do that. It can be really easy to fall into that trap, especially because in the media, it's like recurring if we're seeing it often and so forth, it's easy to fall into that trap, but

[00:21:21] it's just important to remember that femininity just isn't a one size fits all thing. It's going to look extremely unique to each and every person. So yeah, I just wanted to come on here and kind of summarize and glue together all the points that I made back into the episode. In my opinion, it's not worth it to constantly pretend to be someone you're not just to satisfy other people's expectations or try to change their perceptions. It can really be tiring and exhausting.

[00:21:51] And in a way it can kind of mess with your brain and honestly, how you perceive yourself, how you see yourself and how you think about yourself. And it's not really good for us in the long run. Okay. I know we love her, but we're not trying to play Hannah Montana right now. You get the best of both worlds. Stop it. Get some help. This is a reminder for the tall girls out there. Being tall doesn't make you masculine. Being tall doesn't make you any less of a woman.

[00:22:20] Don't let other people's perceptions or opinions of you affect how you express or present yourself. You're not failing as a woman simply because you don't fit into some standard of what femininity is supposed to look like. It's sad that we're expected to act a certain way or even dress a certain way in order to be accepted or at least seen as feminine. And I don't know. Just be who you are. Be your authentic self and the right people will come towards you. Okay.

[00:22:49] Your height does not define you at all. Please remember that. You define you. So yeah, that is it for today's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I really appreciate the fact that you made it to the end and I appreciate you. As always, feel free to hit me up on my socials and let me know what you think or you can even comment down below and let me know if you've ever felt this pressure to have to prove your femininity or womanhood to other people because of your height. And if you had to do these performative acts that are out of character for you in particular

[00:23:18] in order to prove that femininity or establish your femininity. Okay. We've all been there. I've been there. I've, I used to speak with a higher pitched voice and I, yeah, that wasn't a good time. I like my voice now. I don't know why I said that at this point of the episode. But yeah, hit me up on my socials. Let me know your thoughts, opinions, comments and so forth. And if you're in America, stay safe out there.

[00:23:46] And until then, I'll catch you in the next one. Good night and goodbye. Bye. Bye. Endlich macht unser Nemo Boards Shop dadurch auch auf den Mobilgeräten eine gute Figur und die Illustrationen auf den Boards kommen jetzt viel, viel klarer rüber, was uns ja auch wichtig ist und was unsere Marke auch ausmacht. Starte dein Test nur heute

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