Why Do Adults Feel SO ENTITLED to Comment on Tall Girls’ Bodies? | Why We Grow Up Insecure

[00:00:00] When you were younger, do you remember adults making comments about your height? It could be anything from, oh, you're so big now, to you shouldn't have given up that sport, to you're gonna scare the boys away with that height. Sometimes it may be lighthearted in their eyes, while other times it's low-key passive-aggressive. Either way, it may have made you feel awkward, especially at the ages of 10, 11, or even 12. For a lot of tall girls, the first people to make us feel self-conscious about our

[00:00:28] bodies and our heights were, in fact, the adults, especially the adults closest to us. So today, we're gonna talk about how some of our biggest insecurities come from the adults in our early lives, and why this sticks with us even into our adult years. So let's get into it. I just wanna take a moment really quickly to shout out my newsletter in particular. Every month, I send out updates

[00:00:55] regarding my life, especially because I don't even know if I mentioned it on here, but I've been having very interesting health problems, especially digestive issues, and now other types of issues that I revealed in my newsletter, as well as little sneak peeks and even insights into some projects that I'm working on for this podcast. And I am also collaborating with another fellow tall girl. Her name is Rachel. She is at One Tall Order on Instagram. I'm pretty sure there are underscores in

[00:01:23] there, but I'm gonna put her username somewhere on the screen. And I'm gonna link her Instagram below, so you could check that out. But I've also been collaborating with her because she is a tall fashionista herself, and she's been providing a lot of tips for tall girl fashion-related things, and talking about trends, fashion trends, and how tall girlies can participate in them, and where to find tall girl clothing. So I definitely recommend subscribing to my newsletter for that, as well

[00:01:50] as, you know, just learning a little bit more about me and my life, and so forth, as well as other things that I'm working on for the podcast. So that is definitely going to be linked in the description. Now, adults commenting on children's bodies. Let's talk about that, and not really in a petto way. And now that I think about it, after saying adults talking about or commenting on

[00:02:13] children's bodies, it sounds really, really, really creepy. I don't mean in the petto way at all, more so in a way that makes younger, you know, younger people feel more insecure about their bodies. As I go deeper to this episode, it's going to make more sense. However, I don't really think that adults should be commenting on kids' bodies unless it's for safety reasons or for health reasons. But aside from that, there's like a lot of extra stuff that I feel like adults feel the need

[00:02:42] to make at times when they don't really need to. So let's talk a little bit about that. I would say my first experience, or probably not even my first experience, but my first realization was probably at the age of 9 or 10. And it was the comment, you eat like a football player. That was a comment one family member in particular used to tell me often when I was growing up. Now, what prompts an adult to compare a 9-10 year old child to a football player? I don't know. But God forbid a tall girl

[00:03:11] tries to get her calories in. And if you're a tall girl who struggles with eating or compares how much you eat to your shorter friends, just know that you're actually supposed to eat more than shorter people. You are supposed to eat a lot. Your body needs the calories. Okay, I want you to listen to this really quickly. Three tall girl reminders of you here today. Not a monster for eating more than your shorter family members. Tall girls need more food. And if your body's telling you it's hungry, that is a signal

[00:03:39] you need to listen to, not feel ashamed of. Tall girls need at least 1500 calories just by existing, which means you do not have to earn or burn your food today like your almond aunt says. As a registered dietitian and a fellow tall girl, I find that tall women are always eating and snacking for these three main reasons. Number one, we have higher metabolic needs. So that means that we are going to need more

[00:04:04] fuel because our bodies are simply bigger than the average woman, which means we are naturally going to be hungrier. Number two is we are not eating enough of the right foods to stay full and satiated for a long time. This honestly goes out for majority of people, majority of women. We are not eating enough of the right foods, which are protein, fiber, and healthy fats. You really need the combination of those foods to prevent this snacky constant eating. Number three, I know this is a big one for me,

[00:04:32] so let me know if you can relate, but because we take up more space and we are tall and bigger than our smaller friends. Anytime we're in an eating situation, we kind of feel guilty for eating more than the people around us. So that causes us to cut back, which means we aren't eating big enough meals for our body. And that is going to lead to the constant snacking and always feeling hungry throughout the day. As a tall girl who fell out of control around food, majority of her life felt

[00:04:58] really chaotic and was even binge eating for the majority of the time. So much time and pain would have been saved if I had just learned how much fuel my tall, big athletic body needed. And I just trusted that process. But saying something like that, like, oh, you eat like a football player to a young impressionable girl is kind of crazy. It's kind of outrageous. And quite frankly, uncalled for,

[00:05:24] especially as a kid, we know kids eat a lot because they're growing and their body needs to food. And then on top of that, if the kid is taller, they're going to require more and more food. They're going to require extra food. So it was kind of, I feel like should be known with the territory that that's the case. So I don't, I don't know. I just think saying something like that to a young girl is crazy. Another instance, which still happens to this day is there's this one particular family member as well

[00:05:53] as a different family member than the one who would say that I eat like a football player. Every time I visit them, they're always pointing out my height or saying something regarding my height. They're like, geez, oh my gosh, why are you so tall? Or what are you going to give me some of that height? Or hey, what's up basketball superstar fully knowing that I don't play it anymore. Or every time I see you, you get taller. Or oh my gosh, I'm literally at your shoulder. Or oh, you think you're big and bad just because

[00:06:20] you're taller than me. And I don't know, like I, maybe it's that person's way of like being lighthearted and playful and so forth. But it's like, every time I see you, you're bringing it up. Like, are we not past this? Like, it's not where it makes me feel insecure because I love my height and I love being tall and I'm just in a good place with it now. But it kind of just gets annoying. Like, okay,

[00:06:45] we get it. You're fully twice my age. Like, why? Why is this a thing? Why do you keep bringing this up? I don't know. It's just very annoying. But while we're also talking about experiences, there's actually a tall girl on Reddit who says that her mom, who is 5'1", played a part in her eating disorder because of the pressure she felt to appear small. And the mom also misgenders her ex-husband's girlfriend, who's also on the taller side, and calls her names like Sasquatch in front

[00:07:15] of her daughter. Oh, and the mom also apparently told the daughter that she's going to be alone forever because she's tall. The problem is, I don't think parents and older family members understand the role that they play in their children's self-esteem. Like telling your tall daughter, oh, she's a waste for not playing sports or even just disregarding her feelings about her height. That can stick with her even into adulthood. Yet we're taught at an early age that our elders are

[00:07:43] always right or they can never be wrong or they're oh so wise. So they know more than us. They know about life and the world more than us and that we should never talk back to them. So it's like those things that they're saying to us, we start to internalize that and oftentimes even believe that because it's like, oh, they have more experience in life and they know more about life than I do, then it's kind of

[00:08:08] like, how do I put like, how do I put two and two together? It's a thing of, okay, like if they know more than it's like someone like me, because obviously they're going to be other tall people out there in the world. What they're saying about that is true because they've probably seen it. They've probably seen someone like me have these types of experiences and other people may be having those actual thoughts

[00:08:32] of taller people, taller women. So me as a tall girl, if these people, the close, the people closest to me, the people who are supposed to love me and protect me and so forth, if they're having those thoughts about me, everybody else is probably having those thoughts about me. The world is probably going to see me this way. So then that's when we start to really feel self-conscious. Like dang, like even if the people closest to me are thinking this way, are all people like that? Do all people see my

[00:09:01] height this way? Do all people see me this way? And you know, it adds up over time and then these insecurities present themselves at a younger age and it kind of gets worse as we get older. Like even to this day, we may still be checking the mirror and and adjusting our clothes and even second guessing how much food we're eating. Then you kind of just gotta go out into the world and deal with other people's thoughts and judgments. And it's not to say that you absolutely have to deal with it because to be

[00:09:31] honest, it's it's not really something for you to worry about. Other people's thoughts and opinions and judgments like that's like you quite literally have no control over that. They honestly have no control over anybody's thoughts and opinions. But it's kind of like dealing with that in your home life side. It can be a lot. For example, in one instance, when I was like in seventh or eighth grade, I had a teacher who needed help carrying textbooks from one classroom to another. And she was like, yeah,

[00:10:01] like India, can you help me? Because you know, you're so big and strong. A 12, 13 year old lanky girl. I mean, yes, I was taller than the teacher. But like, other than that, physically, like I was smaller than her. Like I was this stick figure. I was literally a stick figure. Like you how how like no, but because I was taller than her. She referred to me as quote unquote, big and strong or even a

[00:10:27] random lady one day when we're waiting for public transportation. It was an older, older lady. And she comes up to me and is like, Oh, you're mighty tall for a girl. I bet you're taller than all the boys at your school, huh? I'm like that is such an odd thing to say to a child. You don't even know. Really truly love me gabberflasted. And it's like sometimes inside thoughts need to stay

[00:10:51] as inside thoughts. And you would think that you would think that the older you get, the more your inside thoughts stay inside thoughts. But no, a lot of adults feel the need to have their inside thoughts as outside thoughts. And it's like, as a tall person, you think that the older you get, the height comments and issues would fade. But apparently there are still 50 and 60 year old tall women out there who still get comments about their height. Like you mean I have at least another

[00:11:20] 30 to 40 years of this. Anyways, the point that I'm trying to make here is that the comments that you hear growing up when we're young and impressionable, our minds, our brains aren't fully developed to, you know, determine what is, I don't want to say what's right and wrong, but what's appropriate and what's inappropriate. You're absorbing things like a sponge. You're going through changes with your body

[00:11:45] and your brain and just trying to figure out how to be comfortable in yourself. After years of all of that, those comments often turn into our insecurities. For example, when we're saying, oh, you're a waste of height for not playing sports. You may feel dumb. I don't want to say may feel dumb, but you may just feel bad or feel weird as a tall person. Like, oh my gosh, like if I'm not

[00:12:12] an athlete, like I just look stupid out here. Or if they're saying, oh, like you're taller than all the boys or, you know, you're going to be alone because you're taller or whatever, then you're going to be insecure when dating. Like, oh my gosh, like nobody's ever going to approach me. That's going to cause confidence issues. And you're not going to think that, you know, the person who is actually into you. You're not going to think that they're actually into you because you're taller than them

[00:12:40] or you're just tall in general. Or even with, um, the example that I gave earlier with the girl from Reddit and her mom pressuring her to be smaller, that can literally lead to not only body and height dysmorphia. I did an episode on that, but also eating disorders. Like that can severely impact your mental health at such a young age. And then it could just get worse and carry on into your adulthood.

[00:13:05] It literally shows up in our daily lives where we often downplay our height. We allow other people to even talk poorly and terribly about us, about our height, about our body, and may even agree with them. We may shrink ourselves to quote unquote fit in leading to not only posture problems or even the example that I gave earlier, it could even lead to eating disorders. We may overcompensate by hyper-feminizing ourselves in the dating world or just not acting as we normally would. We're not

[00:13:32] showcasing our true personality because we feel like we have to act a certain way to get people to like us because our height is just quote unquote making it worse for us. All of this is coming from the fact that the adults in our early lives, whether it's our family members, random strangers, or even trusted strangers like teachers and coaches and so forth, all because of their comments that they're making towards us about our bodies. And even subtly teaching us that we're taking up too much space

[00:14:00] or we're being too much. If you're a parent of a tall child, it's your job to help them love their height and to shut down any comments other adults are making about their bodies because it most likely impacts them way more than you think. Let me tell you something. You got to be careful as well as a parent of what you, the type of people you're allowing around your kids because adults will say to your children that will stick with them for the rest of their life. I'm saying this because I'm going to give you an example. I had a family member say to me when I was nine to 10 years old,

[00:14:29] you know, girls, your complexion and your height, men are going to only want to see at night. Do you understand how much that stagnated me in my life? I didn't get past that until I was, until I was like 34 and I'm in my forties now. So I just got past that not even a decade ago. You understand what I'm saying? What I'm saying is for the tall mothers that have tall daughters, breathe life into your daughters. You got to be confident too. This is for all tall women. No matter what you do, you're going to be six feet. You're going to be six one. Wear heels. Don't wear flats. Stand in your

[00:14:57] beauty. No matter what happens, you're going to always be tall. You're going to always stand out. That's why with me, whenever I go out, I go out and I wear five, six inch heels. I wear bright colors because I know I look good. I know I'm big and I'm a stand out and I look good. And you're going to notice me because my confidence is top notch at this moment. I want to say this to young girls. You are beautiful. You are worth it. It's nothing awkward about you. You're not ugly. You're just tall. And that's a beautiful thing to be tall. Things look better on you when you are tall. So let nobody take that

[00:15:26] from you. Don't let nobody because they're smaller than you make you feel like you're inferior because you're bigger than them because you're not. So just stand in your confidence and mothers put that confidence into your bigger, your bigger girls as far as height goes. I just think it's very important to be mindful what we say to younger people, what we say to children, especially in their formative years, because they're absorbing everything like a sponge. And I'm talking from birth all the way up to even the ages of 18 and 19. And if you're a tall girl listening to this,

[00:15:54] and you feel like when you were younger, a lot of the adults in your life, your, your, your parents, your other family members, your, your teachers and coaches and mentors and so forth. If you felt like they were making a lot of comments about your height and just making you feel insecure about your body and your height, it's not your fault that they're doing this at all. Okay. They may be projecting their own insecurities onto you, or maybe even, even try have tried to manipulate you. Yes, there are

[00:16:23] as sad as it is to say, there are adults out there who manipulate children as a form of control and so forth. But just know that there is absolutely no way that this should have happened to you as a child. There's no way that should happen to any child or any young person out there. Now I do want to ask this question. I often ask this in my guest episodes. Tall Girls, what's the one comment you absolutely hated hearing growing up? All right. I think I'm going to end this episode here. Thank you so much for

[00:16:52] tuning in. I really appreciate it. And I appreciate you. Of course, as always, feel free to hit me up on my socials at a Tall Girls Podcast. Let me know what you thought about this episode. And I just want to hear your thoughts about this. I feel like the main point of this episode that I'm trying to make is that a big part of where our insecurities may come from is, you know, not just the fact that our peers are making fun of us and so forth, but also the adults in our lives, the ones who are supposed to protect

[00:17:18] us and uplift us and, you know, make us feel safe and heard and seen and loved and so forth. Sometimes they do play a role in our insecurities just by the comments that they're making about our bodies, whether it's lighthearted and in a joking manner, all the way to even if it's passive aggressive. So I just want to know if you agree or disagree, or even if you've had any experiences relating to that, feel free to let me know. Shoot me a DM. You can even comment under where you're watching or

[00:17:46] listening to this episode. And until then, I'll catch y'all in the next one. Good night and goodbye.