Are Tall Women Scared of Being Tall? | The 'Big vs. Tall' Debate

Tall women get called a lot of things. Some are good, like Amazon or Amazonian, depending on the context. Or stallion, also, depending on the context. We even get compared to models and goddesses. And on the flip side, we also get called some not-so-good things. I don't even know if I should get into those. You know what? Why not? We have Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Beanpole, Stringbean, Skyscraper, Mommy Longlegs. Honestly, this is all bringing up some pretty bad memories, so I think I'm going to stop. However, there's one word that kind of resurfaced or has been brought back to my attention again after a while, and that word is big. Yeah, tall women have a lot of thoughts on being called big. Some good, some fairly neutral, and some bad. So today, we are going to talk about the big versus tall debate and why some tall women don't like being called big, slash big. why they don't like to think of themselves as big. It's going to make more sense the deeper I get into this episode. So without further ado, let's get into it. Good morning, everybody. You are currently listening to a tall girl's podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say Make sure you're following me on my socials at A Tall Girl's Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest so that you can stay up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave me a review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have a monthly newsletter. Make sure you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. Hope you guys are doing fantastic. As I said before, happy fall, by the way. Arguably the best season of all time. And don't argue with me because I'm right. We have Halloween or Talloween since this is a Tall Girls podcast. I think Tall Tour is doing some Talloween related thing. I don't remember where exactly. So... Definitely follow Tall Tour to see if there's a Talloween thing coming near you. We also have Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. We have the Charlie Brown. We have the pumpkin-flavored everything, or just pumpkins in general. We have the crispy fall weather, like... It's just it's just a good time of year to be in, in my personal opinion. I don't know. I'm pretty sure you guys can tell that I'm a bit excited about this, but let's get back into the episode. I actually did a TikTok video response about this topic a little bit, and I honestly didn't intend to get back into the whole big versus tall thing anytime soon. But then I saw another TikTok video from another creator. She's tall. I want to say that she's six feet tall, but I don't remember wholeheartedly. Her video actually got my wheels turning a bit. And I kind of want to dive deeper into the question that she posed or the statement that she said. and give my thoughts on that. So I'm going to play the video here. Women, particularly tall women, need to stop being so afraid of the word big. Big is not a bad word. It should not have a negative connotation. Being tall does mean you're big in the sense that big is a relative term and comparatively to other people, you are bigger than them, you are big. That's fine. It's not bad to be bigger than a thing that is smaller. I think people just associate the word big with being fat, which I guess if you're fat, then you are, by my definition, big. That still doesn't make big a bad or dirty word. This happens to me all the time. I'll refer to myself as a large lady or a big lady, and I do not feel bad about that. I'm not saying that in a self-deprecating way at all. And women around me will be like, No, you're not. As if I was calling myself fat. Understand I am being the odd one and using the word big in a kind of unusual way, but I still think I'm correct. There's nothing wrong with being a big woman, whether that's being tall or fat. There's nothing wrong with being a large lady. If you are a tall woman, there's nothing you can do to be a small woman. You are never going to be small. Give up on that dream immediately because it's impossible for you. There are features you can change. You can gain weight, lose weight, get a nose job, get a boob job, get a job. There's so many parts of your body that are possible to change. Your height is not one of them. So you need to stop dreaming of being different than you are because that's never going to happen. Accept it. I am six feet tall. I am never going to be a small woman. That is not my calling. That is not my destiny. And I love being six feet tall. All right, we need to first talk about the word big because the word big is one of those controversial words in the tall community, especially for tall women. Some don't mind being called big because to them, it means that they're simply larger in physical size. While others take some offense to it because to them, it means that they're fat or masculine. What are your thoughts on this? Well, looking under the comments under this creator's video, the feelings seem pretty mixed. One person said, tall means tall, big means big. A tall person that's not overweight isn't big. They are simply just tall. Another said, I know, but I have an unconscious association with masculinity and bigness. It makes me feel less desirable. Another said, this is why I get annoyed when I say I'm a big woman and people around me go, no, you're just tall. No, I am big. I know I'm not fat. Nothing wrong with that, mind you. but I have broad shoulders, big feet, big hands. I am big and that's okay. Someone else said, I am big, tall and big fat. Learn to embrace it. So the feelings here seem pretty mixed and I honestly understand both sides and First, I just want to say to my non-tall girly listeners, it's important to remember that not all tall women view certain words the same way. Some may not mind being called big or huge or giant, but there are some who don't like being called those things. So it's worth thinking twice before using these words to describe a tall woman, especially if you don't know her. Because I know some of y'all like to just randomly go up to tall women that you don't know and say ridiculous things or things. things without thinking first. So for the audio listeners in particular, or just the people who did not like see the actual video on their screens at the moment that it was playing, the original creator T guzzles, I want to say question mark. She had text on her screen that had me thinking and the text said stop being scared of being big and it does bring up the question do tall women hate being called big or do they not like the idea of themselves actually being big? Does that make sense? I'm essentially asking like for the tall women who strongly dislike being called big. They don't like the word big. They don't want to be associated with that word. Do they just, you know, not like that because they're uncomfortable with the idea of themselves taking up space? Because I mean, to be considered big, to be seen as big, to be big in general, you are physically taking up more space. And so when they hear the word big, when somebody calls them big, whether it's meant maliciously or not, It kind of serves as a reminder that, hey, you do take up space and other people see that. Other people notice that. I will say for me, for example, my views on the term big has definitely changed drastically over the years when I first ever did the episode talking about stop calling tall women big and so forth. I really did not like that word. I strongly disliked that word. I was basically saying do not call tall women that. Don't. Mention tall women and big in the same sentence when you mean tall, just say tall, not big. That was how I was talking in that episode. But now, years later, when I'm asking this question, I personally feel like tall women who really, really don't like the word, who really don't like being called big, who seem to get triggered by it. And you know, that also goes for younger me as well. It may not necessarily be the word itself. For some, I feel like it makes them confront the fact that they take up more space than, more physical space than the average woman. And that might be uncomfortable for them. There are tall women who are genuinely uncomfortable with taking up space. Like, they are afraid to. And that's where they may start to avoid wearing heels or slouch or minimize themselves so that they don't appear too tall or too noticeable. And women are socialized to not be associated with you know, being big or being noticeable as that isn't, feminine, apparently, in society. Women are socialized to be petite and small and delicate. Tall girls are taught to dim ourselves from childhood. We're told don't wear heels, you make boys feel short, stand at the back for photos. And as you get older, you start to realize this is a problem because people keep commenting on it. How do I shrink myself so that I'm like everyone else? We also start to think that being feminine means being small and we want to be girly. We're raised to think that men like girly. So we try to make ourselves shorter. And this mindset destroys confidence. I spent years slouching, dressing really boring to not attract attention, trying to not be noticeable because I thought that taking up space was a bad thing. Then as I got older, I realised that the world rewards tall men for taking up space and being confident in their height, but shames women for doing the same. So now I wear heels. I literally wear six inch heels on. The red carpet. I have hundreds of people looking at me taking pictures and I'm like, I'm standing here and I'm standing tall. I've always got my shoulders back. I let myself be seen fully and I don't shrink and I'm really working on not doing that little hip dip when you stand next to people. Tall women deserve to feel powerful and own our height. We do not deserve to be shrinking because it intimidates other people. And some tall women are like screw that I'm tall I take up space and I'm gonna own it while others they have a harder time kind of coming out of that mindset and their discomfort may not show up as oh like I hate being tall I hate my height this that and the third like it may not necessarily show up with like deep hatred for being tall but more so like oh I don't want to look too tall or too big or masculine. I don't want to tower over anyone. How do people see my size or view my size or my height? And then you know there's this whole idea that you know, in your day to day, tall women sometimes forget that they're tall and then when they see themselves in a mirror or in a picture or whatever, they're like, oh my gosh, I looked this tall, this big, this huge the whole entire time. Or they may have this really distorted perception of what their height looks like to other people, what their size looks like to other people. And that kind of like ties into body dysmorphia in tall women or height dysmorphia or dysphoria. I mean, honestly that the height dysmorphia or height dysphoria isn't really like a I don't want to say a legit term um but it's not commonly used I guess we'll say um but let me know if you want me to do like an episode on that topic of body dysmorphia and tall women um but that's kind of where the body dysmorphia comes into play where they have this distorted perception and they're like oh my gosh like my hands are huge or they think that their hands or feet are whatever is like 10 times the size that it actually is. And so being called big, it kind of, especially if they are just living their life or whatever, they forgot how tall they are, which is pretty common with tall women sometimes. So being called big kind of reminds them of those thoughts that they have about themselves. It reminds them of, oh my gosh, like my hands are humongous. My feet are humongous. I look so much bigger, so much larger than everybody else. Oh no. And because we're like, socialize or expected as women to be the smallest version of ourselves to be petite to be dainty to be delicate we see that as wrong we see being big as wrong being tall as wrong well some tall women see that way and if they haven't worked through those thoughts if they haven't worked through those feelings if they haven't worked through that mindset if they being called big can definitely be triggering for them because it's a reminder of all the bad thoughts that they have about being tall as a woman. And so I think that one of the reasons that some tall women are just, no, like don't call me big is because there's some insecurity that's still there. They are uncomfortable with the idea that they're taking up space. They have all of these thoughts about themselves, about their bodies and so forth that they haven't worked through. And being called big is just a reminder of all of that. And it brings up some bad and hard feelings for them. I mean, of course, there are other reasons for that. But I think this is a very interesting reason that kind of needed to be brought to light in a way. So let me know what you thought about this. As a tall woman, I'm going to end the episode here. Of course, as always, feel free to hit me up on my socials at A Tall Girl's Podcast and let me know what you thought. But as a tall woman, do you not like being called big? Like, how do you feel about that? Has your perception of that or your thoughts on being called big changed over the years like me? Do you think that some tall women who don't like being called big is more so because they're uncomfortable with the idea of them taking up space and, you know, being called big kind of reminds them of that? Do you think that there are any other reasons? Do you prefer just call us tall, don't call us big? Like, Let's have a conversation about this in the comments or in my DMs. Feel free to hit me up. And yeah, happy fall. And until you guys let me know your thoughts and so forth, I will catch you in the next one. Good night and goodbye.