Why Aren't Tall Women Allowed to Express Their Emotions? | The Aggressive Tall Woman Stereotype

We all know that height affects how we're perceived as tall women. We're often seen as strong, dominant, and assertive, which I argue can be very positive for us. People would be more likely to respect us and take us more seriously. It could even be a positive impact in our careers. While that's great and all, there's also this almost imaginary fine line where one quote unquote slip up can have us cross it, and the positive viewpoints seem to disappear. When we get annoyed or stand up for ourselves. We're seen as aggressive or intimidating. When we get vulnerable and feel sadder down, people around us are less likely to take care of us. When we voice wanting to be left alone or we voice our frustrations, some people take that as a challenge or even an invitation to argue or even worse fight. In today's episode, we're going to discuss how having height as a tall woman affects people's perceptions of us, and because of that, to a certain degree, we have to suppress our emotions to avoid negative reactions. So, without further ado, let's get into it. Good morning, everybody. You are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall Girl named India. I have everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic before I get into this episode, I do, and I say, make sure you following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast and Instagra, to TikTok and Pinterest so that you can say up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes. Hey, catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also feel free to ly mer review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have a monthly newsletter makes you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. I hope everybody is doing a super fantastic today. As I said before, today is actually an episode based on another request from one of you guys. I'm actually going to just read the comment that was from that YouTube video of that request so that there could be a little bit of context before I continue with this episode. So this person, she basically kind of depicted a scenario, and I'm gonna read that right now. She said, a woman who's five four gets upset with her man because he left a light on in the bathroom. He thinks it's cute and shuns her off, she gets even more upset and may even get combative somewhat because he's not taking her seriously. Now, say, for instance, the woman is five ten and up, the male partner doesn't give her the same opportunity to behave in such a way that appears to be aggressive. Instead, he feels threatened and belittled and emasculated. Mind you, same attitude and response, but different height. Both are women, so in return, the taller woman does not have the same opportunity to express her being upset because upset for a taller woman looks like a threat to a man, but for a short woman it's looked at as cute. And this was actually tied to a previous comment. She made that shit, Okay, so she made first one comment. I asked her to elaborate on that, and she responded with what I just told you. Now, the original comment was basically saying, how I should talk about how tall women are supposed to hold back aggression towards their male partner because of their height. These comments honestly provide a very interesting idea. The same behavior from two women of different heights can be viewed very differently. For example, let's say a shorter woman gets angry or upset, some people may view that as cute, feisty, or even passionate. But if a taller woman expresses the same frustration or the same anger, she's more likely to be seen as aggressive or unhinged. Even And I know that the scenario from before that I gave from the person who commented this request for the episode, I know that that was more so about being in a relationship, but it often goes beyond relationships. I mean yes, especially like let's say on television or in shows like reality shows or even scripted shows. Oftentimes, when we see, like let's say a heterosexual relationship and the female partner is shorter than significantly shorter, shorter, whatever shorter than the male partner, and let's say she, sometimes they do get aggressive or they're depicted as a girl, so they're like mad pushing him, swinging at him. Da da da da da. But it's not seen as bad as let's say, if a taller woman was going to do that. They're going to try to paint the taller woman in the aggressive light, while the shorter women who are doing that people are gonna think that's cute or oh my gosh, like she's just very passionate in a relationship. She's a feisty one, she's a sassy one. But for a tall woman, I definitely can see how that's the complete opposite. But it does go beyond romantic relationships. You can also see that in friendships. You can see that in familial relationships, you can see that in work relationships. Even I actually did find a redd a post titled feeling like I have to be stronger because of my size, where a tall woman basically discusses how because of her height slash size, she feels the need to put up a tough front and not show any vulnerable emotion. That was basically the premise of the post that she made. However, the comment section underneath that post was very interesting and kind of proves a couple points, or one or two points that we're going to be discussing in this episode. The comment section was basically showing how having height as a tall woman can cause some people to see you as the aggressive one. One person agreed with the original post and said, if you get upset or emotional, people think it's scary, whereas a five foot girly would just be spicy. Following that, a tall woman said, now I ended up not showing any emotion because everything felt wrong. Now people say I look cold or too arrogant. I hate being tall. And then following that, someone said, I've had it happen multiple times where I get in a confrontation with a shorter girly and she'll immediately use my height as a tool to paint me as the aggressor and herself as the victim, even if I'm behaving the same way she is. I've learned to be extra careful about these situations. Now. Again, these all bring up valid points that I'm going to be talking about, but essentially, it's pretty clear a tall woman's height is off and used to paint her as the aggressor In situations where conflicts arise, many people often focus on her physical presence rather than what's actually being said or who initiated the confrontation. Sometimes her height is even used as an excuse to shaate her very harshly. Let's take a listen to this. I don't know which tall person started the rumor that like tall people are looking for a fight, but if we could undo that pr If you've ever seen most tall people, their movements are closed in because we are aware that we are like six to eight inches longer in every direction than most average human. We don't flail our arms out, we don't make grand gestures. Even on Dancing with the Stars. The biggest advice they ever have for basketball players is like use your space, like extend your arm the whole way. The number of men who just don't have confidence that walk up to tall people trying to start a fight because a tall person is tall, it's crazy. I've seen it happen to like really butcher tall dudes. I've also seen it happen to models who are like one hundred and twenty five pound. What you think you're taller than me? You think you're better than me? And then going back to the comments from the previous Reddit posts that I spoke about discussing how some tall women feel as though they have to be careful with their emotions. Some tell women feel as though they're not allowed to express certain emotions. They can't be frustrated or angry or sad. They sometimes feel like they have to soften every emotion because they're worried that their height will cause people to misinterpret it. Again, going back to the previous Reddi posts that I was talking about earlier about being strong. One person commented, I basically faked my personality all through high school. I was super stoic. That's not who I am. I'm dramatic and emotional and I'm allowed to be even though I'm a big, strong girl. And that's very true. We're allowed to feel these things. We're allowed to feel our feels, We're allowed to be in our fields. But people basically use our height to masculinize us because heighth equals masculinity, this, that, and the third. And because people mass sculinize us because of our height, we're already associated with masculinity, strength, aggression, intimidation. Even so, when we have these big emotions and let's say we're like expressing them, we're expressing our frustration, we get caught in the heat of the moment or whatever. Some people will take that as a threat people. Some people will be scared because of that, and that causes people to basically label us as being aggressive, even if we're reacting to what happened to us. And in certain situations, some people will use that to gaslight you. I think that's the correct they'll basically use it to make you look crazy or even make you go crazy. Some people will use that to paint themselves as a victim and paint you as the villain when they're actually the villain. Some people will feel belittle some people will feel emasculated because of that, and that more so honestly has to do with insecurities within themselves. But some people will also take that as a challenge and literally will argue back, yell back, get aggressive with you, or even and try to fight you. There's actually another reddit post that I want to talk about. It's actually in a tall subreddit. I just don't know if that's person is a man or a woman, but either way, it's pretty It could be pretty universal. It could be a tall man or a tall woman that honestly experiences this. But basically the post acts if anyone else feels like they're not allowed to be angry and when you do, it comes off as a tantrum or everyone is scared. They want to be angry but feel like they're not allowed to and it gets bottled up and they put that anger on themselves. Now, we honestly have to think about how people express their anger. Right, I'm not gonna sit here and say, oh, people aren't allowed to be angry, they just have to sit there and be quiet or whatever. But I'm also not saying go around and just start hitting people or getting up in people's faces. Like Those are honestly two extremes, and I personally, in my opinion, don't think those are great ways to go about things. There are healthy ways to express your anger. Sometimes people need a time out. Some people need to time out. They do need to sit in a corner, they need to take a walk, they need to take a breather and just get their thoughts together. You can scream in a pillow. There are a lot of people who do that. My personal fay that I like to scream in karaoke. I like putting on a good song and just scream singing. You know, Scream by High School Musical three. That's the song that I put on when I'm feeling angry. You can punch the air, try your best not to punch somebody. You can punch the air. You can exercise. Even exercising a great way to really stress and anger and all that stuff. I'm honestly not condoning anybody tall, short, big, small, whoever. I don't care I'm not condoning just straight up finding somebody and there's no plausible reason, there's no good reason behind it. But I also understand how people can get caught in the heat of the moment, especially when there's a confrontation, especially if somebody is kind of getting on your nerves or kind of like pushing you to the edge or really just like up in your face, like what are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? Sometimes you can't always hold back, so maybe you'll I don't know, curse or or yell or say something, or maybe push them away so they could get away from you. And and some people will literally take that and run fifty miles with it. They'll be like, oh my gosh, this person put their hands on me. And because you're on the toller side, they'll pay you as aggressive. Oh aggressive, you want to fight this? That and the third and all of that. Stuff like, stuff like that can happen. But shorter women, let's say a shorter women, she does that to somebody, especially like a mail out in the streets, or she does that to anybody. Oh she's like cutely a great example, snooky. Does anybody watch Jersey Shore. Snooky is out here. She has smacked people in the face, push people, this, that, and the third. Like she was doing all that, but she was like seen as cute, labeled as cute. But if Jaywow did it, Like let's say when Jaywow like punched I don't even remember his name, the one that went to jail. I forgot his name, and he wrote a book and he went to jail because a fraud and has like the blonde wife punched him in the face. Oh that was a huge thing. And she's like literally twice sneaky size. Those two interactions, if you understand what I'm talking about, those two interactions are seen very differently. Snuky' is like, oh, cute, feisty, whatever, but Jay Wow, oh my gosh, aggressive this that in the third and people will literally use your height and just say that, say all of these rude things about you and try to use that as a way to be like, Okay, now I'm gonna do this to her, do that to her. I'm gonna say this about her, this, that, and the third, or just paint her in an aggressive light or as the villain, even though that person may have been the one who started that confrontation in the first place. And again it all ties down to height and how people masculinize us. Because of our height, they already see us as intimidating, so when we do something else, I guess to prove that point in a way or support that point. Then oh, my gosh, it's just terrible. This woman's a terrible person. And because we're often seen in this life, this causes some told women, as even in the Reddit posts, hold back every emotion or feel like they have to be careful with how they express their emotions, especially anger and frustration around people. They have to be careful about what they do in confrontation that to speak in a softer tone, They have to be less assertive in their everyday lives, and they have to do all of this out of fear of how people will perceive them or react literally because of their height. It's crazy. It's crazy, and it's unhealthy. You should be expressing your emotions in healthy ways, the positive ones and the negative ones too, because this can literally like suppressing your emotions for extremely long periods of time can literally cause mental health issues but also actual physical disease. Do your research on that, guys, Your emotions and suppressing them and keeping them in and trauma and this sense stress ongoing stress and it's not being released healthily that can literally cause physical disease. Please be careful, tall girlies, if you feel like you have to suppress your emotions out of fear of how people will react to you. And again all because height equals masculinity in the eyes of society, And don't let you be plus sized or darker skinned or have an athletic build. Height is already going to make be seen in a certain way. Then you add other characteristics to that. Some people just they don't know how to treat each other or other humans with respect. So please be careful. But also please find healthy ways to express your emotions. And if the other person is trying to label you as aggressive or scary or however, because you're expressing a literal human emotion, you should not be around that person. You need to get out of that situation, whether it's with a stranger or a partner, friend, family, whoever. Whoever tries to do that is no get. Away from them. But all in all, toe women deserve to be expressive and that's that. So I'm gonna end the episode here. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you of course. I was always feel free to hit me up on my socials at a tot gros podcast and let me know what you thought about this episode. All of my links are going to be in the description. Do you feel like a lot of people use your height to paint you an aggressive an aggressive light in confrontations? Was it used to paint you as a villain? Do you feel like you had to hold back your emotions or suppress your emotions? I found that very interesting. I naturally have always been an expressive person, so I personally and never felt that way. But I understand this because I was deaf. Okay, I was a little bit of a bully. I will say that I was a little bit of a bully, but some people, especially in high school, have said mad, disrespectful things to my face, and okay, yes I react to that, I take accountability. But I was definitely like perceived as the bully, a big bully. I was perceived as very intimidating and stuff like that. I was perceived as aggressive and me being a black woman on top of that, obviously that played a part in that as well. So I will say I understand people seeing you in that light because of that, but I I don't know. I was always very expressive. I've always said a lot of things without thinking, which I'm better at now. I'm better at thinking before I speak, So I never really felt like I had to well, I never really did hold back my emotions. But I do understand the part of people painting you as the aggressor because you know, you're tall and all that stuff. But yeah, let's have a conversation about it. Let me know in the comments wherever you're tuning in, or you can hit me up or email me atg podcasts apinat gmail dot com. And until then, I will catch you guys, and the next one. Good night and goodbye.