This Is Tall A Woman's BIGGEST FEAR… | And It’s Ruining Our Mental Health

Do any other tall girls understand that feeling when you walk into a room and it feels like all eyes are on you. It's kind of like you get a little bit clammy and you just want to run away and hide. Or what about that feeling when you see yourself in a group photo and realize how much you stick out in comparison to others. Okay, there are a lot of feelings going on right now, but I'm giving extra hugs to the tall girlies who have experienced all of these feelings. All these experiences have one thing in common, and they involve being seen, being noticed, or even being judged. And in today's episode, we're talking about how some tall women don't like or even fear being perceived and how that's detrimental to our confidence and mental health. So let's get into it. Good morning, everybody. You are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who's tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast on Instagram TikTok, and so that you could say up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave my review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have a monthly newsletter, make sure you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. You know, this whole topic of being scared or this fear or whatever that some tall women have. This really would have been a good topic for Halloween. This would have been a good topic for Hallowekend, and I could have done this last week. But whatever it is, what it is. Honestly, people are arguing with you and people lying to you is also pretty scary too, So honestly, the last episode was also pretty fitting for Hallowekend. Make sure you go check out that episode after tuning into this one. Also, I hope you guys voted this week. I know, at least in New York election day was this past week. There was a mayor role election, and I think like two or three other states had elections around this time. I don't know for sure. I just hope that you guys are keeping up to date with the important political stuff that's going on right now anyways, back to this episode. So this was inspired by a TikTok video that I saw a very long time ago, probably like a year or two maybe ago, and I cannot find this TikTok video. It's so annoying, Like I find good TikTok videos and then I can't find it because I forget to save it, or it's from a long time ago. Maybe they deleted it. I don't know. But anyways, it was basically this tall woman sitting in her car and she was doing like a bit of a story time and she was talking about how she is I think like six two or six three, and she was in a grocery store and several people in that one instance of her going grocery shopping, several people came up to her to tell her about her heghteller that she's tall, or just comment on her, comment on her body and so forth. And she was just talking about how being perceived as a tall woman is exhausting because people like coming up to her to comment on her height and her body. That happens pretty frequently, happens often enough, and sometimes even several times a day or several times in one outing, like her going to grocery store and it's just tiring, and honestly, I get it. I've been in similar situations. But before we get into that, let's talk about what it means to be perceived, because when hearing it, you're probably like, what, Like, what is that? So to be perceived by someone means that another person is aware of your presence and is forming impressions and judgments about you based on your appearance, behavior, and the context of the situation. So what does that look like for tall women? What does that mean? In relation to tall women? It can mean the constant stares when you enter a room, a lot of questions about your height, comments about height related features like maybe your arms or your legs, whispering about you, whispering about your height literally in close proximity to you so that you can hear, et cetera. Let's listen to a couple examples of this so it makes a little bit more sense. One thing about being tall is that you gotta like attention a little bit to be tall, because no matter where you go, anytime you walk into a room, all eyes are gonna be right on you because you're the tallest one in the room. So if you don't like attention. I'm sure being tall kind of sucks. Luckily for me, I like attention a little bit, so I guess it works in my favor. But sometimes I do go places and I'm like, I just want to walk in and blend in with everyone else, but I literally can't because my head is above everyone else's and I just cannot blend in. So, yeah, tall people problems. I understand at six foot four that people are gonna stare, but the way this man just stared at me at the gas station just made me feel weird. Like I'm forty four years old. I've dealt with this my whole life. I think I was six feet in my freshman year early in my freshman year, so I totally get it. And I also understand that while I'm not like Shack like in girl World, I am probably like a Lebron James. So if you see me in real life, you're probably like, oh, oh my gosh, that woman is really tall, Like not just like she's five nine, she's five ten tall, like I'm six foot four. I get it, But the way this man just stared at me just made me feel so weird, like he could not stop looking at me. I just don't know how to react to people like that. I just felt icky, and then I'm like, what, like how do I respond to people like that? I think a tall woman struggle that is not talked about very much is when you're tall and you go places to like the gas station or the store, like people stare at you and like okay, like yeah, especially like if you're like a tall woman, like people stare and then when people look at you, you feel the need to like acknowledge them because like they're looking right in your eyes. And then you know, you feel like, okay, well I should not that this person is smile at this person because they're acknowledging me, so I should acknowledge them back. But then when you do that, it kind of like serves as an invitation for like people come up and talk to you, and like I don't want to talk all the time, you know, like I'm not I'm not here to talk. And so then you're either like, okay, well I look at them and acknowledge them and smile back at them, or I don't look at them, and I feel like when you don't look at them, like when you don't acknowledge people acknowledging you. Then they just assume like, oh, well, she's just stuck up and she's like a be worried, you know, And so I feel like that's just like a heart, like you can't win for losing. You know. Even the folks on ready to talk about this. Under a thread, a tall girly said, I'm five to eleven and I get stared at a lot. Every time I go out of my house, I get stared at. I'm a very shy person, so it's quite annoying, but I just ignore it. In a separate thread, another tall girly said, I'm six' three and people stare all the. Time i've actually had average high PEOPLE i was with point out how many people were staring at us as we were walking in the shops because they were not used to. It experiences like these are fairly common for us tall. Girlies even me standing at a little over five to ten and before you come for me, like, oh five ten isn't not tall to all the people who say five nine five ten isn't that, tall it's still. Tall in, fact it's several inches above the average height of a. Woman we don't play about the short tall girlies over, here we also experience a lot of the tall girl problems that the six foot and up gurlies, face like the clothing struggles and the stairs and the comments and questions and so. Forth so let's not downplay or minimize our experiences just because we're not six, four sixty, five sixty six. Like we still have our struggles over. Here, anyways being perceived as a tall woman basically means being seen, constantly being noticed, constantly and even being. Judged and many tall women don't like this and actually fear being, perceived being, seen being very, noticeable and even being, judged and this fear can negatively impact their mental health and their. Confidence so let's talk about. That so this awareness of constantly being, perceived this can kind of be connected to the idea or the feeling of taking up too much, space being the odd one out in group, photos the, stairs the. Comments it can honestly make you feel Like. Goliath let's just keep it. Real and because of, this we feel as though we have to shrink ourselves to hide or act differently so that other people don't really notice us or don't judge. Us so this can look like, slouching avoiding, heels not wanting to stand next to, people not wanting to really stand up around, people even talking in a quieter, voice or even holding back your, opinions et. Cetera let's listen to this video really. Quickly being tall as a girl is such a. Struggle i've always felt like the odd ball and, different and it stops me from being myself all of the. TIME i one hundred percent can understand where you're coming, from being forty three years old being six foot. Four FOR i, MEAN i was what, EIGHTEEN i think WHEN i finally reached six foot, Four so it's like almost three decades of being just over six feet tall and just being so. Different AND i grew up with a. Family my stepdad is five foot, eight my mom is five foot, six and they had a daughter together that is five foot, Three so me being over six feet tall for pretty much all through high, SCHOOL i was just so much different than my. FAMILY i always felt like the odd. BALL i always felt, different my clothes never felt never fit. Correctly so it was always something just pointing That jordan's, Different Like jordan doesn't look like everybody, Else like she doesn't even match her. Family like people in my small town THOUGHT i was. Adopted, traditionally women, are you, know supposed to be small and petite and dainty and not take up so much. Space and SO i, remember as a young woman just constantly trying to shrink my, myself, slouching finding ways to bend one the you, know like to bend the hip or drop the, hip to try to look a little bit shorter next to cute guys THAT i. Liked and it's it's a, struggle and it's not something that you're going through a. Long and when we think our height is an, issue we try to shrink, ourselves not just, physically but also, mentally, emotionally even, professionally so that people don't see us as too, much so that people hopefully don't notice, us so that people hopefully don't judge. Us, NOW i came across this very interesting term called tall poppy, syndrome where people who stand out are subjected to, criticism, resentment or even rejection by. Peers the term is derived from the tendency of some poppy flowers to grow taller than, others making them easy to notice and potentially vulnerable to being cut down and credits credits To Amber. Warde the article is going to be linked below this, article and the term tall poppy syndrome is honestly about women, overall so like high, achievers more assertive, women even women leaders and so, forth not necessarily directed to tall, women but this in a way can be connected to tall women because for the most, part we do stand out and because of, that we are subject to the, questions the, stairs the, comments even sometimes the aggressive, behaviors and this can lead to, us, honestly even like sometimes holding back our, personalities especially if you're a more, outgoing, loud not necessarily in a bad way, loud but, outgoing very, bubbly upbeat, personality sometimes you feel the need to hold it back because of your. Height so that can lead, to you, know holding back our, personalities holding back our true, selves and even can lead to resentment towards our height because our height is giving us all this, attention especially negative attention that we don't, want AND i feel LIKE i can't truly act like myself because of my, height so it can also lead to resentment towards being. Tall, additionally in my, RESEARCH i stumbled across an article that made me think about the tall neurodivergent baddies if you didn't, know neurodivergent means differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or. Normal so this includes those who HAVE, adhd, dyslexia. Etc now for the Article i've found in, summary it discusses how the fear of being perceived is common among neurodivergent, individuals who often feel hyper aware of how others view them due to societal pressures to conform to neurotypical. Norms and this self monitoring often leads to masking emotional exhaustion and anxiety because they think that being themselves will ultimately lead to rejection or. Judgment so what exactly does that mean for the tall neurodivergent? Bodies and if you're tall a, neurodivergent you can let me know your thoughts on this BECAUSE i don't fully understand the. SUBJECT i, MEAN i. LISTEN i could even do a full episode on this to go more in depth about it about how being tall and neurodivergent ultimately can affect our confidence and mental. Health maybe this is a topic that can be an episode of his. Own we'll, See but right NOW i personally think and you can let me know if you agree or disagree that this hyper awareness of being noticed or of how people view them is like, exemplified it's like, tripled it's. AMPLIFIED i think amplified is the correct. Word but it's like not just hyper, aware it's hyper hyper aware because you're already different from the, rest because you're. Neurodivergent now ad being tall on top of, it now you're, different different from the. Rest you extra extra standout that can maybe be a little bit nerve. WRACKING i actually came across this red a post that was TITLED i struggle being seen as scary as a tall autistic, woman and she basically talked about how being tall and and her build and her demeanor and her autism made her feel hyper visible and. Isolated very interesting stuff. Here let me know your thoughts on, this and let me know if you think an episode on being tall and neurodivergent would be something of interest to. You but even having, anxiety or even social, anxiety but even just general, anxiety generalized, ANXIETY i think that's what it. Is but even having anxiety while being tall can have an. Effect let's listen to this talk real least. Takes so WHEN i was, YOUNG i suffered really bad with really bad. ANXIETY i didn't like going in public at. ALL i didn't like the ATTENTION i got really bothered. Me Since i've gotten, Older i'm way more. SECURE i love my, Life i'm Totally i'm good Things they're good over, here. Okay, however every once in a WHILE i do still get anxiety more often than. Not When i'm over anxiety is, real, okay and it. Sucks it just. Sucks the last THING i want to do WHEN i have anxiety is be noticed or talk to, people and there is no hiding when you are six foot four be invisible IF i, tried AND i do. Try When i'm, ANXIOUS i do not want to be, seen and it doesn't work very. Well so that is hands down the worst part to. Me when you're really, tall you're on like a permanent stage where people are constantly looking at. You you're way higher than, everyone so we get noticed really, easily and sometimes you just don't want to be. Noticed you just want to exist and not have anyone acknowledge or look your direction at. All most of the. Time being tall seriously. Amazing So i'm not trying to complain over, here BUT i want people to understand that there is some really sides of it THAT i can't change AND i can't do anything about. Now it's also important to note that not all tall women feel this. Way they are all tall women who do fear being, perceived who don't like being, perceived who don't like being, noticeable and so. Forth but there are also other tall women who feel the exact. Opposite some tall women don't really, mind some don't, care some may even enjoy. It let's listen to this tall girlies take you. KNOW i know tall women don't like being stared at or whispered at in, public but sometimes for, me BECAUSE i am six, FOUR i taken the consideration it's not me walking around, here, like it's not a lot of tall women at my height that are just randomly walking. Around so probably if you do come across, me it is, like oh my, god you, know And i'm fine on top of, that you, know it's double, shocking you know What i'm. Saying SO i try not to be rude to people when they ask me about my height BECAUSE i am. Rare there's even a comment under this video that another tall girly gave SAYING i love the attention they give to. Me and it's like. Period you, know we all have different, upbringings they all have different. Backgrounds every tall woman is different from the next tall. Women so obviously our experiences are going to shape how we see, things how we view things how that's practically the same thing THAT i just, said but how we see, things how we react to, things and how we think and so. Forth you. Know SO i just want to make sure that the tall girlies who do feel as, though you, know being perceived as a scary thing and they just don't like it and they are afraid of. IT i just want to make sure that they know that not, alone and to get to the point that some tall women are at some confident tall onm BECAUSE i understand how it's like when you see other people who are confident in something that you're insecure, About you're, like how do they get? There how are they like? This? Why like why AM i not at that? Point why DO i not feel the same way as? THEM i just want to say that you got to take baby steps to get to the point where you want to be, at and you, know some people's journey to confidence is much longer than, others and that's, Okay and it's like a mindset, Shift, yes is extremely. Important a mindset shift is ultimately a great way to get, There but AS i said, before it's just baby steps for. Sure just like for, example this one's for the tall girl. Least if you feel like people are constantly staring at, you it's not necessarily because you're, tall or it could, be but it's also because you're hot. Stuff people think you're absolutely stunning and they just can't stop staring. Period AND i also think it has a lot to do with other people because some people just don't know how to keep inside thoughts as inside. Thoughts they don't understand that you know when you got at people or when you're staring like that person knows that you're staring at, them and it's a bit. Creepy AND i don't think some people really just understand that you could potentially react negatively when they say the most ridiculous things to your. Face and to those, PEOPLE i just want to, say if you see a tall girl in, public you do not need to go up to her and tell her she's, tall or ask how tall she, is or if she plays any, sports or make any weird comments about her body or try to pick her. Up trust, me anything you've, said we've already heard times twenty and it needs to. Stop, overall it's important to remember that being tall isn't a problem that needs to be. Fixed it isn't something to hide or, minimize or anything that needs to be. Changed being tall is a blessing that deserves to be celebrated and. Embraced, Anyways i'm going to end the episode. Here thank you so much for tuning. IN i really appreciate, it AND i appreciate you of, course as, always feel free to hit me up on my socials at A Tall girls podcast and let me know what you think about this. Episode do you not like being? Perceived do you fear being? Perceived do you not like being? Seen being? Noticeable being? Judged do you feel like running away every time it feels like all eyes are on? You if, so or even if you don't mind the, attention how do you deal with? It how do you deal with constantly being? Noticeable how do you deal with the? Stairs how do you deal with the? Comments let me know and if you have any, stories of, course feel free to. Share this is a safe space for all tall women to just vent and just talk about their experiences as a tall, woman AND i would definitely love to hear. It And i'm going to respond to the dms and the comments in a timely. Fashion i'm in grad, school, y'all so y'all got to give me a little bit of. Grace, also by the time this episode is, up there's going to be like a tall tour in like two days on A saturday On november. Eighth so if you're In New York city and you're a tall, Girly i'm going to be there and maybe we can meet, up maybe we can look. Up and have a. Chat we'll. SEE i have some super exciting stuff That i'm going to be giving out, there and, YEAH i just can't wait to see how it turns. Out and if you're going to be, THERE i also can't wait to meet. You, also let me know if you want me to do an episode on being tall and, neurodiverge AND i think that will be something interesting to. Explore and until, THEN i will catch you guys in the next. One good night and. Goodbye