The Tall Truth: How Fashion, The Media, and Society Fail Tall Women ft. Heidi Burns

[00:00:00] Good morning everybody! You are currently listening to A Tall Girls Podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who's tuning in today is doing super fantastic. I do have a very, very special guest with me today. Her name is Heidi. Yet another tall fashion... we love having the tall fashionistas on our podcast. And we have another tall fashionista here with us and I'm very, very excited to get into this conversation with her. So hi, Heidi. Hi, India.

[00:00:30] How are you doing today? I'm very well, thank you. I just got back from Spain yesterday. So I'm back in the UK. All is well. Wait, is it like hot in Spain? Is the weather... is the summer there basically? The weather was for February. The weather was really good actually. So yeah, back in the UK now. It's been nice and sunny so I can't complain today.

[00:00:56] It's the way I... like it's March right now. Well, obviously we're all in March right now. But for some reason when you said February, I'm like wait, like February was literally just last month. Like once March hits, I'm like it's spring. We're getting ready for summer. I don't know what got into me. Anyway, super glad that you had an amazing trip and you got back safely. Thank you. Thank you. So yeah, please just take a second to introduce yourself to the audience.

[00:01:23] Perfect. So yeah, I'm Heidi. Hi, tall on my socials. I'm 34 from the UK and I'm on a mission to help women improve their confidence around tall fashion. And I'm 5'11". Oh, we love to hear that. And I love that little intro like you're here to help tall women feel confident in their high through fashion period.

[00:01:50] That's what this podcast is all about helping tall girlies feel confident. Now, you did say you were 5'11". Tall girl community. I want to hear about your experiences growing up as a tall girl, the good, the bad, the ugly. What was that like for you? Absolutely. So I'd say the good was naturally you kind of find out what you're good at.

[00:02:14] So I was great at netball, stereotypically the goalkeeper defending that really high tall net. I could also jump well above my peers in high jump. So I took quite a lot of my liking to athletics. Yeah, I just generally love sports and that's kind of continued with me like all throughout.

[00:02:38] And I also got to dip into a little bit of modeling and got to do some really fun jobs there. And yeah, funnily enough, actually through Instagram, I've just reconnected with a girl after 17 years who I used to do some modeling with, which I think is just like the amazing kind of amazing beauty of like Instagram, isn't there? Like reconnecting with people again.

[00:03:05] Yeah, definitely say the bad is kind of the early memories of me and my mom going around the shopping center and really struggling to find clothes that were fitting my growing long limbs. I'm sure all you ladies can relate to that one. And I was like tall and skinny. So my mom would need to say everything after to make sure it fitted me.

[00:03:34] And then, yeah, so the ugly, like probably when it came to starting to date, especially in my real life dating. When it came to like, you know, clubbing with my friends, like I felt that men would often gravitate towards like more petite women. And maybe after a few drinks in the club, I was kind of scouting out looking for like the really tall guy in the club.

[00:04:03] And then, yeah, perhaps the next day, like feeling a bit deflated, like especially after alcohol has been involved that, you know, there was never going to be anyone for me, which is so, so ridiculous. So bizarrely, I actually found like dating apps, like actually a bit kind of kinder in that regard. Really?

[00:04:27] I guess sort of men had like sort of, you know, superficially like done the filtering on, on my height. And although I once dated a guy that was through a dating app and he was six foot five and I was 5'11 and he would call him the big giraffe and me the baby giraffe. And there was another guy that called me big foot.

[00:04:53] So yeah, I had some interesting, interesting experiences, but I'm really like extremely happy that now I'm with a partner that loves me for who I am. He loves my height and he's such a little supporter of height tall, even getting in my videos. And he even, I told him that I want to re-embrace the heels last year and this year and Christmas just gone. He bought me a pair of heels.

[00:05:23] So he listens as well, which is great. Period. Point blank. We'd love that. We love a supportive partner, but yeah, I'm sorry. Somebody you dated calling you big foot is kind of crazy. I'm not going to lie to you, but that's why they're in the past. They're in the past. They're in the past. Period. Absolutely. It was not meant to be. Exactly. Now, what was something, I mean, you know, honestly, that could have been it, but what was something involving your height?

[00:05:52] Could be a question. It could be a comment that you absolutely hated hearing. I think it's probably the classic broad statement of, oh my God, you're so tall. Like we hear, we probably hear it like every day. Um, and it can feel like such a broad statement. And I think men as well, also growing up, like, would, it would be the same for them in school, in college, when they were shooting up.

[00:06:21] But I kind of just wish that when people say that they would tag it on with a little compliment on the end. Like, you're so tall, but that's so wonderful. Um, it's often you just feel like so broad and that you don't know where you stand. Um, but I think we get so used to it as tall women. Don't we hearing that one? Yeah.

[00:06:42] I would love to hear that you're tall and beautiful, tall and smart, tall and, um, wow, words, amazing, something of that sort. But yeah, I definitely feel you on that one. Cause I mean, it's like, it's so generic and it's like, oh, is there like nothing else for you to say? Like, but screw it at this point. Like we might as well just see it as a compliment. Just say thank you. Cause I don't know.

[00:07:09] But yeah, much of your content, as you said before on social media revolves around tall fashion. How did you get into tall fashion in your social media content? And what are some of the challenges you may have faced trying to find stylish clothing as a tall woman? Yeah. My socials came from a place where I had been following a lot of wonderful girls myself,

[00:07:37] but they were all completely different proportions to me. Like often, you know, much shorter. And, um, whilst I could take plenty of inspiration from them, it was also a bit deflating knowing that nothing would fit me. Yeah. What they're wearing. Um, and I was in Bali and I found this dress that made me feel amazing.

[00:08:03] It was truly built for a tall girl's figure. And I just had a moment where I turned to my best friend and said, right, that's it. I'm going to showcase the best of the best for us tall ladies on Instagram and help tall girls like me cover their peaches and feel fabulous.

[00:08:28] And that's what I've tried to do ever since, because there's just not any greater feeling than, you know, when you put on a good outfit. I feel like you can take on the world. Um, but sometimes that's rare to come by when we are tall girls. So yeah, now I mainly follow tall ladies. We all hype one another up and, you know, of course still follow, um, everyone else as well and take inspiration from too.

[00:08:56] But I really wanted to create a community where as tall women, we share and discuss and inspire one another. And, um, yeah, I did recently do a poll asking my audience, like, do you want to see the bad fitting clothes as well as the good ones? Um, but most people actually just want to see the good ones.

[00:09:21] And I can kind of relate to that because it's so hard to find good fitting clothes. But, um, yeah, like they have, I don't want to see the bad ones. I've had enough of that in my time. Um, I do like to throw in plenty of, uh, tall girl humor still with my, uh, my content.

[00:09:42] But in terms of like the challenges that I've found, um, shopping, you know, growing up and shopping as a tall woman, um, it's probably just settling for clothes that weren't made for my body.

[00:09:58] Whether it be, you know, the sleeves, the legs, the torsos, um, the, the mini dresses and the high street just assumes that us tall ladies are gonna fit into the mainstream and the, you know, we will make do. Um, and yeah, I must say sort of like ASOS and long tall Sally have been great advocates for us tall girls.

[00:10:25] Um, but you still search on ASOS and there's not, you know, one single blouse for us tall women. So, um, there's definitely a way to go. And I'm really loving seeing, you know, fast growing fashion brands like odd muse London create, um, tall ranges for us girls.

[00:10:48] And really pleased through Instagram and community that there are tall ladies who have walked the walk themselves and now turning to create, um, their own tall fashion brand.

[00:11:03] Um, like Helen from Skyback Swimwear or Abby from Olim London, uh, Finn from Finn Letter Designs or Angela from Live Tool, like to all create wonderful, uh, tall clothing and, you know, platforms like Tool Size or communities like Tool Girl Approved or your podcast here in India.

[00:11:29] Yeah, because when we do find a tool win, I just feel that we have to shout about it. Um, I'm sure it with our, our girls. Um, so yeah, but definitely something I have also noticed from growing up, um, that I think globally we are getting taller as well. Um, cause I remember growing up the tool clothing ranges in the shops were like, it's anyone that's like five, seven, five, six.

[00:11:58] And above. And now like the shops have shifted to like, okay, tool ranges for five, nine, five, 10 and above. So hopefully we continue to, uh, make some good, good improvements. Yeah, for sure. I also think like part of it could also be the fact that we're just, we're at least talking about it more.

[00:12:22] Um, I'm pretty sure when they've done like their market research or whatever they do or claim that they do, cause we don't know if they're actually doing it, you know, um, they probably found that, hey, you know, there are people out here taller than five, seven, five, eight, you know, maybe we should start catering to them.

[00:12:42] Um, and even when they, as you said, for example, with, uh, ASOS, um, that yes, they have tall options, but the variety just isn't there because yes, you have some tall options there. But what about those pair of pants that I saw in that color? You don't have that in tall or the blouse that you said that you mentioned, you don't have that in tall. The sleeves are still going to be short.

[00:13:06] So I definitely agree that there, there's a lot more work that needs to be done essentially. Absolutely. And, you know, you did speak a little bit before about social media and how, when you saw the short girlies on social media, like trying on their clothes and so forth, you're like, oh, but like, why doesn't it fit me? You know?

[00:13:30] And that kind of shows the power of social media, especially for tall women and basically how it affects their confidence and so forth. So I wanted to ask, how do you feel about the representation of tall women in social media or even just the media in general, like in television shows and movies and so forth? Do you think it's good? Do you think it's bad?

[00:13:54] I mean, I just want there to be a place where everyone can thrive because I feel whether you're, you know, really tall, you get criticized or if you come in another shape or size, you get criticized as well. And I think we've come a long way with inclusivity, which includes, you know, tall inclusivity, but there's still so much more to do.

[00:14:20] And, you know, I love to see tall women in the media, you know, people like Venus Williams or Nicole Kidman. And yeah, we just need to be shouting about them more. So maybe we can use our platforms in the air to showcase them more. There's definitely more to do there. No, exactly. I kind of agree with that too. Like more tall women and more tall women doing great things, I feel like could definitely be beneficial.

[00:14:48] Because even you have the stereotype of us being more aggressive, more masculine, more intimidating and so forth because of our height. And because height is seen as a masculine trait. There are not obviously not everybody, of course. And of course, you have the people who actually get to know us and see who we really are.

[00:15:10] But I would probably say at first glance, for the most part, it's kind of a thing of people just assume a lot of these. I don't want to say negative, but to us in a way, negative traits when they first see us. So I just think that maybe having some more, like you said, for example, was Venus Williams. Having more positive representations out there could be beneficial for us. You know what I mean?

[00:15:40] Exactly. Yeah. And, you know, I did touch like a little bit on the whole societal norms, but maybe we can get a little bit more into it. So from like a broader scale, how do you feel about the idea that tall women are often expected to downplay or height? Because, you know, I did mention before, like we're often seen as aggressive, intimidating, masculine, so forth and so on.

[00:16:08] And in order to be accepted to a certain extent, we kind of have to hide, downplay our height. Even at times, I don't want to say insult ourselves, but you know how you make like rude jokes about yourself and you just laugh? How like, see who else laughs and move forward? Like, how do you like, have you had experience with that, with having to downplay your height?

[00:16:36] How have you seen other people have to go through that? Like, what are your thoughts on that? Yes, I have indeed. You know, there's this whole thing about how women shrink themselves. But society has conditioned us in that way that women should be more delicate and take up less space. And men should be the bigger presence.

[00:17:02] Like, I've been told in the workplace that I need to improve on my posture. And, you know, that just showed up in a subtle way then. But I'm like, oh no, I'm standing well above my peers. Like, of course, I'm going to shrug my shoulders a little bit. So you're telling me that I have to, you know, remember what to say correctly in this meeting. Stand tall, push my shoulders back.

[00:17:26] But, you know, I think every day is just like, I'm trying to build a reminder of like not shrinking into that mold. And if I can help in showing up every day on social media that we should not dull our light for anyone and, you know, continue to shine really brightly regardless of these compromises. Then, yeah, we can all do our little bit there. Yeah, for sure.

[00:17:55] I mean, well, it's very interesting that you said even in the workplace somebody is like making comments such as that. Like, do you feel like in the workplace you're what is like the word or the term or the phrase? Like, do you think you often get comments relating to your height in the workplace often? For me, it's more come from a place of confidence.

[00:18:22] So I've been told by quite a few of my previous like managers that, you know, I need to improve on my confidence. And I think that has definitely my height has definitely been a factor into that. Like, you know, always being much taller than my peers and other things. Like, of course, I'm maybe not always going to be the most confident. And I've learned as I've got older to embrace all of that.

[00:18:49] But yeah, it's all a huge journey of self-acceptance, isn't it? Yeah, for sure. And, you know, that also does tie into the norms. Yeah, the notion that taller people are more confident and so forth. And that's why they earn more money in the workplace and da-da-da-da. But whether or not that's the same for tall women and tall men, like,

[00:19:14] that's a whole different conversation for another day or whatever. Because, I don't know, I just feel like there's a lot more that plays into the whole realm of, yeah, being more successful in the workplace, earning more money in the workplace as a tall person. There's a lot more to it than just being tall. But realistically, that's how it is. I'm sorry, were you going to say something? No, it's so true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:44] Well, thank you so much for just sharing your experiences being a tall woman and so forth. And we have reached our last question. What is one piece of advice that you want to give to the tall girls listening right now who are struggling with their self-esteem because of their height? Firstly, self-esteem can be such a common thing that, you know, so many of us have struggled with, myself included.

[00:20:11] And my one advice would be believing that you are worthy of everything that you desire, regardless of your height. And just knowing that that can take time on your own journey. But when you're kind to yourself and when you surround yourself with supportive people, you'll get there. And I think self-esteem, it fuels your confidence as well.

[00:20:40] So it's like a stepping stone that allows you to try new things and take more risks with your life. And people often tell me like, oh, you're really brave for doing that. And I feel like it's come back from, it comes from having strong self-esteem that personally I've worked really hard on. But I recognize that I still also have a long way to go as well. Definitely not being a linear path.

[00:21:10] Like it's been a roller coaster through my teens, 20s and even into my 30s. There's been times when that has dipped, but like, and times when it's soared. But looking back, I've seen that every setback has been part of building resilience. And it shapes you into becoming like the women that you are today. And often it's the reason why people love you so much as well.

[00:21:38] So yeah, like, you know, welcome to your tour girl community, because that's what we're here to do as well. Support each other. Yeah, for sure. And also to add on to that, I think it's also great to note that there are just several factors involved in trying to become confident, trying to love your height, trying to embrace your height. There's so many things involved.

[00:22:08] It's just like fashion, for example, what is primarily what you do. Fashion plays a part in it. The people you surround yourself with plays a part in it. Heck, even your posture can play a part in it. You're surrounding it. There's just so many factors. And with these saying that it's not linear, it's like true. True. One aspect can do great and other aspects can be literally six feet beneath the ground, you know?

[00:22:38] So there is just important to focus on things, on each thing, one thing at a time. And try to, instead of focusing on the whole entire picture and trying to be like, I have to love everything about being tall. Just trying to see one thing at a time, one thing at a time, one thing at a time. And I think that kind of slower paced model, slower paced idea is what I'll say, is something that can definitely be helpful. Absolutely.

[00:23:07] Wholeheartedly agree with that, India. And yeah, be kind to your journey and, you know, surround yourself with the supportive people in your life. Yes, supportive people here only, period. Thank you. Thank you so much, Heidi, for being here on the podcast. To talk about your journey and give that amazing advice. Where can we find you on the internet? Like, drop your socials. Like, where can we find you? Yes. So, Heidi's tall.

[00:23:37] Predominantly Instagram. But also TikTok and YouTube. So, actually, I should mention, as part of my own self-esteem, confidence journey, I would love to get this year to long-form video. Like, you know, we talk about confidence and self-esteem. And for me, it's been so scary just to put a camera in front of my face and talk to stories or come on this podcast, for instance. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:24:05] I would love to get to the goal of doing longer-form video. So, you know, as I talk about my journey, I know I've got a long way to go still. But I'm really happy to be here and be showing up and, yeah, be part of this wonderful, wonderful community. Yay! Oh, my gosh. And all of your links, of course, are going to be in the description. So, all the tall girlies could follow you. And then I'll take a second to plug myself.

[00:24:29] At a tall girl's podcast, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, Google, whatever. Wherever the internet exists, if you look me up, I will be there. Period. And thank you again, Heidi, so much for joining us today. It was amazing having you here. Thank you, Athea. And, yeah, make sure you hit me up. Make sure you hit Heidi up. You can hit both of us up. But just let us know what you thought about this episode. And, of course, if you want to add anything to the conversation, feel free to do so.

[00:24:59] And until then, we'll catch you in the next one. Good night and goodbye.