The Dating Double Standard: Are Tall Women Undesirable In The Dating World?

[00:00:00] Dating as a tall woman. That is such a beautiful thing. Okay, on the low growing up it was kind of awkward. Well, for me at least. I've had a total of three crushes in my lifetime. Two of which were in middle school and I was taller than both of them. Okay, not like a million inches taller but just enough where you know there's a height difference and it was awkward. And then on top of that it was already an awkward time of my life. I mean, middle school is probably an awkward time for every single person, right?

[00:00:29] But through my middle school years I'd see them with their girlfriends who were always shorter than them and I was like, oh! Maybe, maybe they didn't like me because I was taller than them. Well, we'll never truly know because I never asked them but it was a pattern that I started to recognize throughout the years even as I got older. You know, guys tending to have girlfriends who were shorter than them? Like do you guys only go for women who are shorter than them? Are tall women undesirable in the dating world?

[00:00:56] We're gonna answer these questions and more today so let's get into it. Good morning everybody! You are currently listening to A Tall Girl's Podcast hosted by A Tall Girl Named India. I hope everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say make sure you follow me on my socials at A Tall Girl's Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest so that you can stay up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life.

[00:01:25] Also, feel free to leave me a review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have a monthly newsletter. Make sure you subscribe to that. Every single thing is gonna be linked in the description. As you can probably tell by the title and the intro, today we're going to be talking about the dating double standard around height and essentially how height is a factor or how it plays a role in dating.

[00:01:45] So, we're gonna start off this episode with a question. Did your height ever affect your dating life as a tall woman? Genuinely curious. Listen, if you have any juicy story times, make sure you drop them in the comments because I want the tea. But, in the meantime, let's kick off with this story time. I'm sorry in advance if I offend anybody, but I was personally offended. So, I'm going to tell you this story.

[00:02:06] This is like one of the first dates that I went on. His profile, it said that he was 6'3". My profile said that I'm 5'9". Because I'm 5'9". I'm to the restaurant and I'm in the parking lot and he was there before me. I parked the car and he already spotted me and comes walking from whereverville. I don't even know where the frick he came from, to be honest with you. But, he's definitely like in running shoes or some kind of flat shoes and I could tell he's a lot shorter than he said he was.

[00:02:33] So, I'm like going to get out of my car. You know what I mean? Opening the door. He's right at my door, by the way. I'm in a sundress, getting my flip flops on, getting out of the car. He comes in for a hug and I'm not a toucher. Like if I don't know you, like I don't know you yet. Like we just were talking. Like I don't want you in my space. All of a sudden he backed up away from me. Looked me up and down. Like, oh my god, how tall are you?

[00:02:57] I'm like, I'm sorry, what? How tall are you? Are you like catfishing people? I'm like, excuse me? What? Meanwhile, this guy is eye to eye with me. And I just stayed being nice and I was like, no, I'm 5'9". Like, uh, it didn't say that anywhere in your profile. It 100% does. And so, I didn't want to embarrass him. Even though he just embarrassed me, I was still at that. I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable.

[00:03:22] Like, yes person phase of, you know, I never put him down or said anything. How tall are you? I'm sorry. I apologize. Of course. He's like, I'm like 6'1", 6'2". I couldn't hold it and I'm like, with your boots on? Yeah, when I have my boots on, I'm like 6'2". Like, oh, okay, cool. There's no problem here for me. Nice conversation. I'm thinking, okay, whatever. Like, I'm already here. Just get something to drink or whatever.

[00:03:48] He's like, um, I don't date tall girls. Well, okay. I got back in my car and left. I was shocked and I was like, really like, oh my God. Like, maybe I'm never going to find anybody. Because again, this was like when I first started getting back out on the dating scene. This guy just, whatchoo, mean pants. And I know he was just projecting, obviously. Don't lie in your dating accounts. If I had showed up in my cowboy boots, I would have been towering over him.

[00:04:14] I asked you guys in a poll over on Instagram and just a quick plug, make sure you're following me at a tall girls podcast on Instagram so that you can participate in these polls and have your opinions heard in these episodes. But I did ask you guys, do you think your height has affected your dating life? 65% of you guys said, oh yes, for sure. 25% said, eh, maybe at times, but not really. And 10% said, no, not at all.

[00:04:42] I'm not going to lie. Was I expecting different results? Yeah. Why I was expecting different results? I don't know. Maybe I guess because it's 2025. So I'm here thinking that, you know, people's minds change. People are more open to other people of different heights and so forth and so on. Like I wasn't expecting most of you guys to say that it affected your dating life. But then again, there's two sides to this. See, I probably should have specified.

[00:05:10] I probably should have specified because there's kind of two sides to this. It's like the side of, okay, like people maybe not approaching you or not preferring you or whatever because of your height. But then it's on the flip side because of your height, you have certain preferences or make certain decisions because of your height. So there's kind of two sides to it. So yeah, yeah, I can, I can kind of get that. And this story time is from the online dating realm.

[00:05:38] And this kind of brings up two layers when it comes to dating as a tall woman, the online dating world and dating in real life, which the first can ultimately transition into the second one anyways. Right. But in the online dating world, I feel like there are a lot or at least a couple of difficulties that come with that. And I'm not really speaking from experience because I've never, I've never done online dating like ever.

[00:06:03] But for starters, we've seen as we just saw and just heard in the previous clip that there are people who lie about their height. It's often a pattern with men more likely than not, but okay, don't get it twisted. There are women out there who do it too. But I'm sure as you know, in lying about your height, then you eventually meet up in person in real life. And you're like, oh, like you, you lied about your height. Like you're, you're shorter than what you actually said. Like what's going on?

[00:06:32] And then it's like red flag automatically a liar. You lied right off the bat before we even actually met in person. Like what else are you lying about? You know what I mean? So then there's that. But then there's also kind of like this capability to filter people out based on their height. If you have a certain preference or a high preference in your partner. So I mean, oftentimes people do put in their bios. I think they put in their bios like their height, what their height is.

[00:07:00] So once you see it right off the bat, you can automatically say, oh, like this person is too tall. Or, oh, this person is too short. Or, oh, this person is taller than I would like. Oh, this person is shorter than I would like. And then just move on from there. Or you could kind of bring that up in a conversation when you're talking after I guess you match online or whatever. You can bring that up in the conversation and then you can just be like, maybe not. Or I don't care. And I feel like people tend to be ruder about it online when it comes to height.

[00:07:30] Like let's say a woman is like, yeah, I'm like 6'3". I feel like the person on the other end could potentially be ruder about that than they would in person. Because I mean, it's not really like a face to face interaction. So there's not that much human. I wouldn't say human interaction because obviously it's two humans communicating online. But I feel like communicating in person like IRL face to face is a little bit more human than communicating through a device. But that's just my personal opinion.

[00:07:59] And because there is that is like less of that human connection or interaction or whatever than you would get in real life. Then they're more likely to be rude about it and be like, oh, like you're ginormous. Like get out of here or something like that. So they could be ruder in that sense or they could just, you know, straight up ghost the person or ghost a tall woman. And while we're on the topic of online dating, y'all, there's a dating app for tall people. It's called date up.

[00:08:29] I see what they did there. So apparently it makes it easier for tall people to find each other. Oh, and then it divides people up based on their height. Would you try this out? I redownloaded Tinder the other night. I know. I know. I haven't had it in like literally three years. But anyway, I'm like hinge and bumble. There's no spot to put your height. And so I'm a tall woman. So I put in my bio, I'm tall and I'm bad at math, whatever. And so far every single match I've gotten, the first opening message has been how tall. And I'm like, okay, that's fair.

[00:08:58] Like I put it in the bio and I said, oh, I'm 5'10". And more than one man has responded. Oh, okay. Thank God. I thought being really into height was like superficial. I thought you guys like didn't care. I thought you were pulling the, oh, I'm 6'2", if it matters. What happened to that energy? It's different when you come across a tall girl, huh? The energy changes. Let me know in the comments. But then on the flip side, there is the whole in-person dating experience as a tall woman.

[00:09:26] So now on the flip side with the in-person dating experience, that can have its own set of difficulties or struggles. Um, but I will say that, you know, because it's kind of like an in-person type of thing, you can kind of tell right off the bat, maybe even before approaching the person, whether or not they fit your height preference. And with that, it seems like some tall women kind of struggle with that because some men may be too intimidated because they see their height right off the bat.

[00:09:55] Some men be maybe too intimidated to approach them. And okay. And I know that I'm talking a lot about heterosexual relationships, but then again, that's, I feel like where a lot of the struggles as a tall woman comes from or presents itself when it comes to dating. But maybe I'll talk a little bit more about, you know, same-sex relationships later in this episode. We'll see. But anyways, back to the previous point that I was making that some men are intimidated by the height of a tall woman and that may cause them to not approach them

[00:10:25] when it comes to the dating scene. Let's listen to this experience really quickly, just as an example. How come men never approach us tall baddies? Like we need some love too, but we don't get any. Like when I go out, men usually stare and they don't approach or they try and neg cause they're just intimidated. And I thought I was going crazy or that I was like ugly or something. Cause I'm like, how come men don't approach me when I'm out?

[00:10:55] And I recently got signed by an agency here in Texas. And several of my friends from the modeling agency are over six feet or taller. Um, and they've kind of said the same thing. Like one of my friends said that she had to start going on the dating apps to even start talking to guys cause men would never approach her.

[00:11:18] And it's just crazy to me that men don't approach us because us tall baddies are used to being nagged, put down, um, whatever. So we would be like, we don't even care if you're shorter. Like we would be so grateful to get approached and it would make us feel so good. So I just don't understand why men just don't approach. Cause like, I would love that. I would love it if they would approach and I'm very shy.

[00:11:45] So I just don't know how to go about dating cause I don't like the dating apps and men don't approach me. So anyways, just sharing that thought. And listen, I'm pretty sure this is not the only experiences out there. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of tall women who have experiences. I'm pretty sure there are tall women who have experiences multiple times over and over again throughout the years. And it's kind of a thing of why are some men intimidated to approach a taller woman? The biggest reason is insecurity. Okay.

[00:12:15] Height is often seen as a masculine trait. So for some men, it's kind of like an attack on their masculinity. It's threatening in a way. It makes them feel less than. And going off of that, I kind of just want to say just as a little segue or whatever, that that idea is pretty bogus. Okay. Because at least in my personal opinion, the idea of masculinity and femininity often comes from your vibe.

[00:12:40] It comes from your energy, not necessarily your height or wholeheartedly your physical appearance. I mean, yes, your physical appearance, especially the way you dress can play a part in that. But it also is very dependent on how you come across to other people. But that's how some men feel and so much so that, okay, here's the thing. So there are tall women out there who have been asked by their partners to not wear heels. Like at all, just so they're not taller.

[00:13:07] And if you're a tall girl and this happens to you, major red flag, run for the hills. I'm sure your long legs could get to there quickly. And in fact, while we're on the topic of red flags or dating red flags as a tall woman, I'm going to play this clip for you guys really quickly. Red flags I've experienced dating as a tall woman. Even if you're not tall, as long as you're around the same height as him, you can probably relate to this. Y'all know we're going to start off strong heels. Asking if I'm going to wear heels tonight. I've dated men who are like, oh, are you wearing heels today?

[00:13:36] Or, oh, are you going to wear those heels tonight? Or damn, why are you wearing heels? I'm like, oh wow. That's such a red flag. And you know, I'm a girl, so I'm still going to wear heels. And it's not something you should ever be questioned when dating someone as a tall woman or dating someone around the same height as you. This goes into my second red flag, being anxious about being the same height or being taller than him. This kind of goes back to the point one of wearing heels. Men who are like the same height as you or when you're typically taller than them, they will constantly be worried about looking the same height or looking shorter than you in public.

[00:14:04] And that can translate into telling you not to wear heels. That can translate into gaslighting you thinking that you're not that tall. And I think it's a red flag because it shows that they're insecure and they're so worried about what people are thinking about. Our height differences or even just me being tall or me not being tall. Third red flag is brings up my height too quickly. I don't know why that's capitalized, but anyway. To be very frank, no guy has ever bagged me by talking about my height too quickly. Like you can like tall girls, but if the first thing you're DMing me or telling me is damn like you're tall as hell. It's not gonna work. I already know it's not gonna work.

[00:14:34] Fourth red flag and typically the guys who bring up the height thing will bring up this thing as well. MBA kids. Okay, listen, let's talk about this. Do not ask me about Project Mbombe. Do not ask me about Project Whatever. And it's not even that I don't want MBA kids, you know, like kids who are tall like their mom and their dad. Listen, Project Wembley or Wemby, whatever his name is, is on the way. But you can't bring it up. Only I can bring it up. Because if you're truly trying to build a relationship with somebody, they are not gonna bring this up within the first two seconds of talking to you.

[00:15:04] Like these two things should not be the first couple things you say to me ever. I will not respond to you. And now you've lost a million deal contract because we could have made it happen, but you just rushing too much doing too much. Like I don't like that. Fifth one is too many basketball questions. Like, oh my God, like you're supposed to be trying to get to know me. Why are you trying to do a Euro step around me and you know, making all these basketball analogies. Like I just never found it funny. I never found it cute. I never thought it was smart. Like let's, let's, let's not do that to girls, please.

[00:15:31] Any tree or object comparisons. I talk about this all the time. Oh, like, you know, I don't like climbing trees. You will, I really, like, I want you people to know that like to use this one, that you will never bag a tall woman in your life using that. You will never. And I think, you know, you won't bag them. So you're just having fun with it. And I really think that's why it gets on our nerves. Cause like, we know you're not being serious. You're actually still trying to like make comments about our height.

[00:15:58] And you know, you're not trying to seriously bag us. So you make the whole, oh, I want to climb that tree, chop that chair. Don't address me like that, please. The last one, last red flag kind of goes back to number two, sizing me up. Like I've been on dates with men who like, you can tell that they are intimidated by your stature. Like they're constantly looking at your shoulders or like your head and like seeing like who's taller. Don't do that. You're not going back. No tall women doing that.

[00:16:24] But yeah, I'm sure that you've heard that men typically prefer shorter women. That is honestly what's said in the dating world, whether or not I agree is a different story or whether or not that's the actual case. That's a different story. Okay. We like to take things in a case by case matter. But for the most part, there are people who believe that men prefer shorter women. Why is this the case? Why do men prefer, prefer women who are shorter than them?

[00:16:50] There are honestly a lot of reasons across the board. Some men see short women as more feminine and nurturing, maybe a bit passive even. The whole masculinity thing, as I mentioned before, some like to say that it kind of balances each other out when one partner is taller than the other. But then it's also the same reason why there are some women out there or even some tall women out there who prefer taller men or men who are at least taller than them.

[00:17:18] Everybody has their own preferences. Everybody is entitled to their own preferences. And you know, that's not really something to get pressed about. It's not really something to take, I wouldn't say take seriously, but take personally, you know? Because I mean, ultimately it really doesn't have much of anything to do with you as a person. It's just that person's preference.

[00:17:40] It's just when people are rude about it or make rude comments about it or say mean things about it to you or say, oh, you're never going to find anyone because of your height. That's when it's an issue. But when they just personally prefer someone at a certain height, it's kind of like you can't do much of anything about it. You know what I mean? Now, a tad bit about same sex relationships, AKA women loving women. I'm not saying that I don't have too much to say about this, but I just, I don't know too much about it.

[00:18:09] Like I personally don't have experience with it myself. And even in my life in general, like with other people around me, like I've just been surrounded more so by heterosexual relationships for the most part or men loving men. Like I, when it comes to women loving women, I don't, I don't know too much about that to be quite honest with you. However, after doing research, literally just TikTok and Reddit, it seems like some women do have their preferences.

[00:18:39] Take a listen to these clips. Where are my tall fems at? Can we just talk about how hard it is to date as a tall femme? First of all, can we just collectively stop trying to change straight girls and maybe just date the fems that are out there? Because I swear to God, I'm a tall girl. So I need someone who's at least my height, maybe a couple inches shorter. Like I'm like 5'9 pushing 5'10". Okay? If you're eye level with me, that's perfect. I feel like I am very much a good height to be a female. I'm 5'8".

[00:19:08] Y'all be wanting us studs to be six plus feet. Come on now, come on. I'ma ain't y'all be funny y'all. I see it so much. A lot of times people say, oh, you too short. 5'8", it should be perfect. It should be perfect. Come on now. That is not bad. 5'8 is actually great.

[00:19:27] And yes, while some women do have their preferences, I've actually seen a couple times on Reddit that some people argue that straight women tend to care more about height than queer women or lesbian women or bisexual women. I don't know. They're just saying that straight women care more about height. That's essentially the point being made. But if you have anything else to say about that, feel free to let me know and educate us. All in all, love is love.

[00:19:55] Whoever you're into, go for it. Okay? There are tall women out there who have, you know, dated or even married men who are shorter than them. Quick shout out. Okay? Quick shout out to Six Foot of Bay on Instagram. She proudly shows her man and her man is visibly clearly shorter than her and they both love each other and they both. It's just a very, very beautiful relationship, y'all. They are so happy. They have, I think like two or three kids together and they're just living their best lives on the gram. Okay?

[00:20:24] That is just a clear example that, you know, if somebody wants to be with you, they're going to want to be with you. Height and all. It doesn't matter if they're taller. It doesn't matter if they're shorter. If they're into you, then they're into you. And you know, that just really goes to show that whoever is meant to find you, whoever is meant to love you, they are going to love you for all of you. Height and all. Okay? As I said before, yes, people have their preferences, but there are other people who don't care about height.

[00:20:52] There are other people out there who actually prefer something like there are men out there who may prefer women who are taller than them. There are women out there who may prefer men who are shorter than them. It really like there's something for everyone. There's someone for everyone is basically what I'm trying to say. But if people are rude about it, if people are rude about your height, they are clearly not meant for you. Okay? And that just brings you one step closer to finding the person who you are meant to be with.

[00:21:18] I did ask you guys in a poll over on Instagram specifically to the tall ladies. Would you date someone shorter than you? 55% of you guys said, yep, I like what I like. And 45% said, heck no. And you know, one of you guys actually did hit me up. Did DM me based on that poll or whatever saying because I'm going to talk about it because it's actually relevant to what I'm about to say afterwards.

[00:21:43] One of you guys said my fiance is 5'11 and I'm 5'11 and a half. So yeah. And the reason why I wanted to bring that up is because I personally feel like the ones who say, yeah, like I like what I like. It depends on how much shorter. Because 5'11 and a 5'11 and a half. That's not that much of a difference. You know what I mean?

[00:22:11] For the most part, there's obviously outliers. There's obviously other people out there who have different preferences or whatever. But for the most part, I feel like an inch or two shorter is not that bad for most of us. Most of us wouldn't mind because we get it. We get that we're tall. We understand that we're tall and that's just how it is. So an inch or two shorter, maybe, you know, it's not too crazy.

[00:22:35] If we're getting to 5'6", 7 inches, a lot of us, I don't think we would even consider that person. But that's just me. That's just my opinion. Let me know if you think anything different. Now, I want to leave you with this. Tell women are stunning. That's it. That's literally all I wanted to say. Now, whatever you do with that information is up to you. Anyways, thank you so much guys for tuning into this episode. I really appreciate it and I appreciate you. As always, of course, feel free to hit me up on my socials at a Tall Girls Podcast

[00:23:05] and let me know what you thought about this episode. Do you agree? Do you disagree with what I said in terms of people honestly just have their own preferences? I don't think it's a thing of, yeah, like all men prefer women who are shorter than them and all women prefer men who are taller than them and so forth and so on when it comes to heterosexual relationships. And, you know, if you have anything else to say about the same-sex relationships, AKA women loving women, like, I don't know. I just, I want to hear your thoughts. Let me know in the comments.

[00:23:34] Let me know in my DMs as long as it's appropriate, of course. And until then, I'll catch y'all in the next one. Good night and goodbye. Bye.