Tall Women Are EXHAUSTED | The Problem with Constant Visibility

Being a tall woman is definitely a unique experience. Oftentimes, when we enter a room where the first person people see and they stare, whether they're in awe of our physical presence or wondering how a woman could even be that tall, extremely brave strangers come up to us and ask us questions and make comments about our height, And honestly, sometimes the strangers don't even come up to us and say these things. They'll just stare and say the comments of the person they're with without a care in the world, even if they see that we notice them talking about us, like you do know that we know when you're talking about us, right, But what definitely does go unnoticed is the emotional fatigue and the slight burnout that tall women feel from the tall woman experience. So in today's episode, we're going to be talking about how the stares and the comments and how constantly being perceived can take a mental and emotional toll on tall women and how that could affect how we show up in our everyday lives. So, without further ado, let's get into it. Good morning, everybody. You are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall girl named India I hope everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say, make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast and it's going to TikTok and picture, so that you could say up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes, I catch a glimpse of my every day life. Also, feel free to leave me review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have the monthly newsletter, make sure you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. Anyways, I hope everyone is doing fantastic today. As we kind of stated in the intro, we're gonna be talking about how being a tall woman can feel draining at times. Yes, it's definitely a blessing for sure, but being tall as a woman can definitely take an emotional and mental toll on you. And not because there's anything wrong with being tall, but because you're constantly being perceived and your body and height are constantly being commented on. And it's not necessarily like one is worse than the other. Like it's not like being commented on is worse than being stared at or perceived, and by versa, they all have their individual impacts on us. Like being constantly stared at and perceived for example. You know, this can be very exhausting because it's like, you know, you are forced to be very visible in a very loud way. You know, you already walking room, everybody can see you. But when people start building their perceptions of you and making you something that you're not in their head and then trying to project it onto you can be very exhausting. I kind of just don't care how people perceive me. I think that has been very bringing for me as a tall woman, to not care about the perceptions that people put on. Okay, as always, I love my height. One thing I envy with like the short girl experience is their ability to get lost in the crowd at a club or a function or whatever. Like you're just able to be like totally in it. Everyone's around you, everyone's above you. I feel like a periscope sometimes, like I'm just like cut on a swivel seeing all these people like eye contact constantly. It takes effort to not make eye contact with someone. Whereas like I feel like it's a short girl, you're able to. Just like exist. I don't know. Let me know your thoughts, and let's take a look at some of the comments under this last video. One person said, I'm five eleven and I feel you girl. I have people glaring at me at all times. I feel like I can't escape. I love being in Norway or the Netherlands because everyone else is around my height or taller, and I feel much more relaxed. Sometimes I feel like a freak being so tall. Sometimes I feel so powerful, but sometimes I feel really exposed. Another person said I'm one hundred and ninety three centimeters and people don't even try to hide the staring. They just straight upstair. Another person said I hate not being able to be a wallflower, like I don't want to walk in everywhere and have everyone's head turn. I literally went to therapy because I have social anxiety, and my therapist was like, you're extremely tall and pretty. It's going to keep happening. So in all honesty, it can feel like a lot. And many tall women out there will tell you, oh, I hope you like attention or get used to the attention because you know you're tall, You're gonna immediately or almost immediately grab people's attentions wherever you go, and it's just it's an ongoing thing and it's not like it's going to stop. But it's like, how are tall women dealing with constantly being stared at? Are we ignoring the stairs? Are we staring back at people? Like? What are we doing? But the feeling of constantly being stared at that can feel uncomfortable, almost like we're a spectacle. And honestly, we can also take it a step further and talk about being perceived, because yeah, like people are staring at you when you're being perceived, but they're also kind of forming some type of judgment or opinion about you based on your height. When they're staring, they could be thinking a lot of things right, like you're a model or an athlete, intimidating, aggressive, strong, transgender, a man, and they can really just get you thinking like why are people staring at me? Why is this person staring at me? Is there something wrong with me? What are they thinking about me? And it's just like an ongoing thing in your head that can literally send you into a spiral. And then there are the comments about our bodies. Being tall means that strangers feel free to just comment on your body. I'm six feet tall. I've been this height since honestly high school. You think I would have like decent responses to these comments by now, but I don't. The other day, I was in the bathroom washing my hands and this lady comes out and she's washing her hands next to me. Immediately she just says, oh my gosh, you make me feel so short. I don't think she's being malicious or anything. She's just trying to have small talk with somebody. But my point is like, I don't know what to say in that interaction. I genuinely don't know what the other person wants me to say. Usually I just like awkwardly laugh and I'm like, oh yeah, like sorry about it. I'm comfortable being tall now. But if she had said this to me when I was like sixteen, I would have internalized it. Let's talk about the exhaustion of being publicly commented on as a tall girl. Most of us move through the world feeling pretty normal, even though I know I'm tall. When I picture myself in my own mind, I don't see someone drastically different. I just see me. I feel proportionate and I feel ordinary. So when I'm not in public and someone says, wow, you're so tall, or stares a little too long, or makes my height the first thing they notice, it can feel surprisingly jarring. Not because I didn't expect it. We do expect those kind of comments, but because it interrupts that internal sense of normal and reminds you that you're being perceived through difference. When it happens once in a while, it's manageable, Sometimes it's neutral, Sometimes it's even well intended. But when it happens almost daily at the store, at work, walking into any new space, it becomes a lot level interruption to simply existing. And looking at the comments. Under this last video, one person said, my biggest thing that I don't like is that I constantly feel objectified, like I'm just some object that looks different, and people don't know how to just perceive and not say anything. Another person said, sometimes the comments get to me. It was especially hard growing up. Also, I know I am tall. I don't need strangers pointing it out. I know it's a different situation, but why is it considered okay to tell a tall person, wow, you are so tall, you must be the tallest person in this room. Even taller than the men. But most sane people know it's not okay to tell an obese person, oh my gosh, you're so fat. You must be the fattest girl here, even bigger than these men. Someone else said, interestingly, comments on my height have dwindled as I've gotten older. Somehow people felt more free to comment on my body because I was a young girl. And honestly, I kind of agree with that last comment. The experience of being tall as a young girl versus as an adult women is very different because when we were younger, it seemed like many of the comments were focused on our bodies or our height, whereas as an adult, many of the comments are based on assumptions that people make about our personalities, our identity, our femininity because of our height. No matter what the comments are, no matter the reason for the stairs and all that stuff, the end result, the effects are very serious. For years, for decades, tall women deal with this, They deal with the ongoing comments, They deal with the ongoing stairs, being constantly perceived these assumptions that people make about us, and not only do some of us develop self esteem issues from it, and hypervisibility and who knows what else, but We're also extremely tired of it. We're exhausted. It's just exhausting dealing with this. It could even make doing day to day activities feel uncomfortable. So I'm in Costco right now and the amount of stairs and comments I've been getting today are ridiculous. So I'm six', five OBVIOUSLY i get comments EVERYWHERE i, go but today has just been another. Demon starting off strong in the parking lot for pointing and, staring, commenting, wow she's so, tall coming, inside having people say is she a super, model which, LIKE i don't get that. One i'm here in my yoga. Clothes then going immediately to the bathroom and there's a little girl in, there maybe like, eight and she's like, mommy that girl's so. Big and you, know honestly prefer from kids because at least they don't know any. Better adults pointing and staring and making the comments they know, better but little kids they don't know. BETTER i should just get like a card to give out to people when they ask how CAL i, Am i'll just be, like six 's five way. Volleyball here's my. Stats so If. I'm mere to the end of the, video this is just your public reminder that tall people are not circus. Animals don't stare and talk really loudly about them because it makes going to get something as simple as groceries really. Awkward AND i, understand and seeing someone as tall as me is really. Rare so if you want to talk about, me just do it, quiet least SO i can't hear it least. So, yes constantly being, perceived stared, at commented on that could be, exhausting BUT i honestly kind of want to take it a step. FURTHER i feel like part of the reason, why a big part of the reason why it feels exhausting is because as women we're kind there's like a lot of expectations of. Us we're kind of placed in this box right where we're expected to look a certain, Way we're expected to act a certain, way to be a certain, way expected to carry ourselves a certain, way expected to talk a certain. Way so it's, like if people make these comments or these stares or, whatever and having these expectations on, us if we react literally to what people, do we're crazy and, Emotional, like oh my, gosh she's like, overthinking she's being, emotional she's being crazy, this, that and the third simply because we're reacting to what people are doing to. Us but then on the other, side it's like if we do what we're expecting and it's just like we keep, quiet we, ignore we just let it, happen then that's literally it like we just let it. Happen and more are more, like especially if it's like the friends and family, members people are gonna keep doing it because we didn't say anything about, it and they're, like, oh like she didn't say anything about, us so it must be. Fine she must think that it's, okay like if there's no problem with. It and then on top of, that keeping a lot of our emotions in is also not. Healthy so on top of people just gonna they're just gonna keep doing, it especially if it's someone you see on a recurring, basis like you see them over and over again, again like a friend quote unquote friend or family, member they're just gonna keep doing. It and on top of, that it's not good for our. Health so it's like we react and say something we're crazy we don't is bad for our, health and people are going to keep doing. It it's honestly just like it feels like a lose lose, situation and that's part of the reason why it's. Exhausting we have to constantly pick and choose our battles and be thinking about how to approach these things without appearing a certain. Way it can it can feel like a. Lot, Anyways i'm going to end off with this today and every day is a great day to be, tall and make sure you give this a like if you. Agree, Anyways i'm going to end the episode. Here thank you so much for tuning. IN i really appreciate, it AND i appreciate you of. Course as, always feel free to hit me up on my socials at A Tall Girls. Podcast let me know what you thought about this. Episode do you think that being a tall woman just living and existing can feel draining on a day to day. Basis you, know we're already dealing with the standard tall girl, problems but then also having to deal with other people staring at us and perceiving us and making comments about. Us and for a lot of tall, women it's just like every, day multiple times a, day especially if you're let's say like six, four, six five sixty, six if you're pretty up, there Like i'm pretty sure it gets worse SO i just want to hear your thoughts on. THIS i want to hear your. Experiences let me know comment wherever you're tuning into this, episode or you can send me A. DM i really need to go through my. Dms i've been seeing dms so people like requesting me, ideas So i'm definitely going to be going through those. SOON i just want to say thank you for even just taking the time to tune into this, episode and until you know you hit me up and so. FORTH i will catch you guys in the next. One Good night and. Goodbye