So…People Think Tall Women Are Being Dramatic? | How Gender Norms Shape the Tall Woman Experience

As tall folks, we're often told that we're lucky to be tall. You're so lucky to be tall, you should be grateful for your height. I would do anything to be that tall, And listen, I get it. There are so many amazing things about being tall, right, like having a commanding presence, seeing over crowds, maybe even having a higher earning potential. I also read somewhere that tall people may be smarter, so there's that. But the list goes on and on. However, with pros come the cons. Some of the disadvantages are so bad that they negatively impact our health, our safety, and the way we see ourselves and our bodies. And sometimes we take these negative experiences to the internet, sharing them in hopes of finding some sort of solidarity, and sometimes we're are met with I guess the opposite saying that we should stop complaining, or just people straight up saying it's not that serious. So in today's episode, we're going to discuss that a bit and why this happens, and how some of the dismissive and invalidate in comments may also be coming from tall women. So, without further ado, let's get into it. Good morning, everybody, you are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who's sitting in today is doing super fantastic Before I get into this episode, I do, and I say, make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and pincher so that you can stay up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave your review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. I also have a monthly newsletter, make sure you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. Do you guys know that's saying that? It's like, you know you made it to the top, you know you're doing good, you know that you're making it big or whatever. When you start getting hate, well, I guess I'm getting a little famous, guys. Okay, let me stop. I'm gassing it. But someone did take time out of their day to make a response video to one of my videos over on TikTok, basically saying that the particular topic or honestly, they didn't outright say it obviously, but kind of implying that the topics that I speak about on my podcast in regards to being tall and all of the things that we experience as tall women and so forth is kind of pointless and I'm doing too much. And I just want to say that this person did not outright say that is just what it's implying. That's my personal opinion. But you guys know, if you follow me, which you should at a Tall Gross podcast literally everywhere, that I discuss a lot of topics in the tall world and how they affect tall women and how it impacts our body image, our self esteem, our confidence, and so forth. And I understand, yes, there are bigger problems in the world, especially right now in this time period. There are bigger problems in the world. And yes, there are people who don't truly understand our experiences, especially if they're not a tall woman, because a lot of these things are unique to us. But to make a whole video complaining about me complaining about being tall, being a tall girly and a lot of the struggles that we have, or one of the struggles that we have, is very interesting to me, to say the least. So before I played this video. There are two things that I kind of want to discuss. First, number one, the video that this person was responding to was about tall washing and how brands make it seem as though they make clothing for tall women because they put their clothing pieces on literal tall women, like the list of highest five nine, five ten, maybe six foot, and put those models in like ad campaigns, runways, even on the website. But when you actually order it and get it and try it on, it's not really tall girl friendly. So that was the video that this person was responding to. And second, do not come for this person. Don't go to his profile, don't leave comments regarding it, don't send dms regarding it anything negative or anything of that. Not to say that you guys will I don't know, Just to cover all bases, I'm just saying to not go and do anything ridiculous. Okay, harassment is not allowed or applauded here. Anyways, here is the video. It seems like the fashion industry loves tall women until us time to make clothing for us. That's not accidental. It's a marketing tactic called tall washing, which basically means using tall models to sell clothing without actually offering tall sizes. Many brains think is too expensive to produce tall clothing or that there isn't enough demand for it. That's why it's so important as tall women to keep sharing our experiences so that we can create change and get the clothing that we. Deserve here in America. I notice, the more privileged you are, the more you actually complain deserve industry washing. Notice the words the modern person uses and I use them as well, So don't get crazy. I'm just saying, like the first world problems that we all have is so funny. Tall people just acting like they're oppressed all the time is a hilarious thing. She said. They think there's not enough a demand for tall clothing for tall people. There isn't. There is not a large demand for tall people because they are a smaller population. The reason why really short people always have something to wear is because humans start small and they get bigger, so they can at least do kids clothing, which, by the way, I know for a fact they do, because I know a bunch of very short people and that's what they tell me they do, and they complain a lot less than you got. The point is, I actually think being tall is quite a privilege. However, it does come with some drawbacks. But I think it's ironic that people that are more privileged complain more. Okay, So a few things that I want to highlight. Number one, this is a man. Some people really do fail to realize that this is a podcast meant for tall women. The title is literally a tall girls podcast. I constantly say, and a lot of my content the tall girlies, for the tallies, with the tall girlies, the tall girlies, tall girlies. It's for tall women. You don't even fit half of that. The person he doesn't even fit half of that. He's a man. On here, I talk a lot about the experiences of growing up as a tall girly, being a tall woman in adulthood, so forth, and so on. So it's like, if you're already not a woman period, you already don't understand it. And then number two, he keeps saying tall people people, which is inclusive of men. Tall people includes men and women or any other gender you want to identify, as it's not specific to just tall women. He says tall people. Many people fail to realize that being a tall man can be a very different experience than being a tall woman. While both are praise yes, and have their own unique experiences and struggles, tall women are more likely to be questioned and criticized. This actually reminds me of comments I've received saying that shorter men and taller women have kind of similar experiences, just on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Anyways, would love to hear your thoughts on this well. Listen and I agree, Okay, the tall girl problems, the tall problems is definitely a first world problem, and in my personal opinion, being tall is definitely a privilege, which is essentially what he implied. Now, the part of him saying that we're acting like we're oppressed, I don't know about that one. Honestly. When I talk about experiences on my podcast on my socials, it's more so just like saying the quiet part out loud, saying the things that we experience that aren't really spoken about a lot, that people don't really talk about, that's not really spoken about on the internet and so forth, so that the tall girl leads can understand, Hey, like if this happened to you, you are not the only one. You're not crazy, Like this is a safe space for you, Like, let's talk about it here. I feel like saying that acting like we're oppressed is a bit intense. I wouldn't say that it's just highlighting, especially in that particular video, just highlighting as like a literal struggle, like brands do not cater to us. It's annoying. We have every right to say that it's annoying. We acknowledge that they don't cater to us. Women are on average, like on the shorter side, Like the average head of a woman in the US is like five thirty five four, Like, we acknowledge that, and it's so annoying that not even like a couple pieces are tall or long. It's just annoying when a lot of these brands only cater to average height girlies. And we have every right to say that it's annoying. Okay, we are finding solutions. Of course, there are tall friendly brands, there are tall specific brands, so forth and so on, But we also can't say we can also acknowledge that they don't cater to us, and we can also acknowledge that it's annoying to us and it's frustrating. But listen, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Let's look through some of the comments under this guy's video. One person said, I'm six six, two hundred and forty and fit into regular clothing just fine. We're mostly L and XL. But he posted like a picture of himself later on to like, I guess show what he looked like. And again that kind of just proved my point that tall men, like, he's a tall man, I'll beat a very tall man, but he's able to find clothes just fine. Also, it depends on proportions and so forth, because a sixty six woman may have longer legs than a six to six man, and this, that and the third, so trying to find stuff could be difficult. And also the average head of a man is like five ten, so brands with cater to like five ten men versus catering to five three five four girlies. It's like there's a whole lot of factors in this, of course, But again that just proves my point that he's a tall man and he has an easier time finding clothes. And again I'm speaking on the experiences of a tall woman. Two different things here. Another person says, so because we're tall, we're privileged and can't complain about clothes not fitting us because most people are short. Yes, okay, there was like little punctuation in this comment, so I don't know if this was a sarcastic to or if it was just like a oh, just because we're tall, we're privileged, and that means we can't complain about stuff and this that and the third like that's crazy. I'm thinking that's the kind of tone. I don't know. I'm gonna think of it as a way as I agree, like, Okay, I get it, we're tall. It's amazing. However, you know, there's still annoying parts about it, and we should be able to complain about it, especially to people who can relate to us. Last one, I think this is a more severe problem for women, not gonna lie. They're not expected to really ever be tall, so I can see both perspectives. Ultimately, this video wasn't needed let people complain. So there are definitely mixed comments under this video. Some agreeing with him that hey, well, not necessarily in agreeance, like yeah, like tall people act like this and they need to stop and this that, and the third like he kind of was going off or like complying or whatever. But some people are more so like oh, I don't really have these struggles or oh, like I can see both sides. But like the last person said, you didn't need to make a response video to what she was talking about with's tall washing. So there's that again. No hate, no tin, no shade towards this person, just giving my thoughts and opinions, just like he gave his thoughts and opinions on my video. All good here, and again, don't go try to find his profile and you know, make comments under his stuff. Leave him alone. We're all just talking here on the internet. And back to the topic at hand. The thing is, when it comes to being a woman, no matter your height, there are a lot of expectations of us, societal expectations to constantly look put together, to be an appear feminine, to be the smallest that we can be physically in terms of height and weight, among so many other things. And when you're a tall woman, it's kind of hard. It's very difficult to be some of those things, right. It's kind of difficult to be the smallest you can be, especially in terms of height and weight, because you're already tall, and then when you're tall, you're gonna wagh more. It can be a bit hard to look like you're put together constantly because a lot of clothes don't fit you well in terms of proportions in length. And then on top of that, you also have to pay a lot of money to find clothing that works and fits for you and spend a lot of time doing that. So it can be hard to fit into the constantly looking put together and being an appearing feminine. Yes, I agree that tall women can be feminine they want to be. However, in terms of dressing that way, again, it can be difficult with the dresses and the skirts not fitting well or being too short, or a lot of these brands make ugly clothing or drag clothing and so forth. It can be difficult. And additionally, people masculinize us because of our height, and back to the thing about being smaller, a lot of us feel like we have to lose weight so we don't take up as much space. Being tall as a woman definitely has its advantages, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't cancel out the experiences that aren't really spoken about enough. We'll often question about our gender and harassed. I did an episode on transphobia and tall women definitely check that out. The constant comments about our bodies lead to insecurities and body image issues. The feeling of taking up too much space leads some tall women to develop eating disorders. It really is that deep. But because height often benefits males, because again height is seen as a masculine trait, many people assume that it kind of rolls over and we experience the same benefits. But that's not really the case. Because a lot of people don't necessarily think about the gender norms and the expectations of each gender. They don't understand how those gender norms and those expectations, along with our physical traits, play a role in how people treat us and how people see us, how we see ourselves. So when we talk about these struggles, when we complain about these struggles, it's more than just oh, like I can't find genes that reach my ankles, or oh, this person in the grocery store came up to me and told me that I'm tall. Yes, like, that's definitely part of it, but that's very surface level. It goes much deeper than that, and these things affect us well into our adulthood. Let's listen to this. I think the experience of growing up as a tall girl is not discussed enough because I'm in my thirties and I'm still trying to figure out how to tap into my feminine side more. I love to like put on makeup and be cuts, but I'll be honest, like, I don't just like throw on a dress because one it's hard to find one that cover my butt cheeks, and two, if I want to wear a long dress, it's probably like waiting at the ankles. Then there's the whole being masculinized, and that's a whole nother side of it that I could talk about for hours, probably, But then there's this box they try to put you into as a tall girl, and that's whether or not you play volleyball or basketball, and if you don't, you're probably just wasting your height, right. And then if you're not doing a sport, then you must be a model. Oh you're not. Oh, then you're probably not skinny enough or not pretty enough. And it's like, are these my only three options because I'm above average height, that I have to do a sport or be on a magazine cover, I don't understand. And then there's the whole side of being hyper aware of your body at a very young age. Okay, I realized, holy shit, I'm taking up a lot of space. I'm the biggest person in photos. Then you start shifting to the back of the photos and you're just a floating head. Okay. And it just takes a toll on your confidence. It really does. And even at thirty years old, I still struggle with it. I still do. And I just wish I had someone when I was fourteen, fifteen years old and I went through my girl sport to tell me, like own it, like own it. Please do not shrink yourself, do not hide, do not quiet yourself. Being tall is beautiful and strong, and I think it makes you unique. And I think we just need to embrace. It more Yet, because people see the outside benefits, they see how it more so benefits men or even people just wanting that height, wanting to be tall, and I don't know, maybe they believe that being tall would just open up so many doors for them and it'll just be so amazing for them, and so forth and so on. When we talk about the negative experiences that actually come with it, the dangerous experiences that come with it, the things that affect our self esteem, and our confidence and so forth, and our mental health. It's just dismissed because people just see the benefits in it or they want our height. And this especially shows when people are like, oh, I wish I had your height. I wish I was as tall as you, as if having our height can just like magically change their lives. Let's listen to this video really quickly. I people be like, oh, yeah, like I wish I had your height. I'm six too. No, you don't, I mean like the ninety ninth percentile of all women on earth. Everywhere I go, girl, Oh you. Think I don't know that my pants gotta be thirty six and seeming up. You don't even know what in means. No, you don't even know what that means. Y'all won't know the struggle. Y'all will know this life. And it's very interesting to see that tall women may also play a part in this dismissive, invalidating thing that's going on here. Actually, I saw a comment saying that apparently many tall women bully each other. Last time I checked, I thought we had a bit of a sisterhood going on here. Where is this coming from? Now? I personally haven't experienced being bullied by other tall women for the most part has been good, supportive, uplifting and so forth. However, I will say that I have definitely received comments under social media videos from tall women saying, oh, this has never happened to me, what are you talking about? Like? Why why is this a thing like? This has never happened to me? This? That, and the third almost kind of implying that, oh, I'm lying or saying something crazy, You're ridiculous because they personally have never experienced the issue, the struggle whatever that I'm talking about. I have gotten like probably once, very very long time ago. I think I did a TikTok trend though, and people there was like one maybe two toll girly saying that, oh, you're doing too much. There's no need for this or something to have a podcast like over this, this, that, and a third and yes, while everybody's entitled to their own opinion, everybody has their own unique experiences and so forth, I do feel like sometimes that's a bit dismissive and invalidating. Again, as I said before, just because you personally have not experienced it doesn't mean that other tall women have never experienced it. Just like with transphobia prime example, I personally have never experienced any body being transphobic towards me, or anybody assuming that I'm trans and so forth, or harassing me over that. But I'm reading through stories by other tall women and I'm seeing that this is a thing, like this actually happens. I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, like this has never happened to me, Like I don't know what you're talking about this that I'm never going to do that because a that thing that they're talking about, that story that they're talking about, is very serious, very dangerous. And number two, it's like, again, these are all unique experiences that tall women face, and just because I personally haven't experienced it doesn't mean I'm going to go and validate what they're saying as a tall woman. And it's like, Okay, you may have a hard time believing the stories that are shared and so forth, but again, these are real stories. So if you're a tall girly and you're talking about your feelings around things, you're talking about your experiences and so forth, I believe you. I will start there. I believe you. Your feelings are valid, your experiences are validy, your stories are real and it's not something to be dismissed because again, these things shape how we see ourselves over the years well well well well into adulthood. So yeah, that is my little two sents here. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you of course, as always, feel free to hit me about my socials at a toll gross podcast. So let me know what you thought about this episode. What do you think about the guy doing a full response video basically saying tall people act as if they're oppressed and so forth. What are your thoughts on that? What are your thoughts on people invalidating our feelings and validating our experiences or just being dismissive about it? Again, I personally think that, Okay, if you feel some type of way about if you're not interested in it, if you don't think it's relevant to you, you can just keep scrolling. There's no need to comment these types of things, and there's no need to make response videos and validating these people's experiences. If it's not for you, it's not for you, just grow past. TikTok also has a feature that you can say you're not interested in it, and then it won't show you more videos like that. Just saying, but I would love to hear your thoughts on that. If you have any experiences with people dismissing and validating you your tall woman experience, let me know in the comments. The whole point is to have a conversation around this, and if you think that there are tall women out there who bully other tall women, please let me know. I have never heard of that till the person actually commented that under one of my earlier videos, one of my earlier podcast videos. So yes, do tell let's talk about it. And until then, until I hear from y'all, I will catch y'all in the next one. Good Night and goodbye.