How To Keep Your Cool When People Make Thoughtless Comments About Your Height

Good morning everybody. You are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who's listening today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and pincher, so that you could stay up today on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave me review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. Everything is going to be linked to the description fun fact it was hurricaning last night. If you live in New York City, I'm pretty sure you know that the weather is weird these past few days. I mean, it's transitioning into fall, so it's getting cooler and the daylight is slowly dwindling. I remember when the sun would set at nine pm, and now it wants to set in the seven o'clock hour. I don't know how to feel about that, but that's besides the point. Last night it was hurricaning. I was in a deep sleep, I was getting good night's sleep, and all I hear is a bunch of thunder, and all I see is a bunch of lightning. So naturally, when you hear stuff and like see stuff with your eyes closed, like you can see how the lights are when your eyes are closed, you wake up and I'm like, what's going on here? I hear it raining cats, dogs, pigs, cows, and tarantulas outside. It was coming down extremely, extremely hard. And the thing about me is when I sleep, I like to sleep with my window open because I sleep right next to my window. It just helps me sleep. I just feel like I need the fresh air coming through right night, well fresh in air quotes coming in when I sleep. But that's not a good idea when it's raining hard like that, because the water tends to come in and soak the window sill. But because I was in such a deep sleep, I did not do any think about it. So when I checked this morning, my window cell was indeed drenched. So we gotta fix that. Anyways, that's going to be for another time. Don't want to deal with that right now. But today's episode is going to be on comments. And notice how I put thoughtless the word thoughtless before comments, because people have a tendency of not really thinking before they speak, and it's horrendous. Yeah, sometimes it could be funny in the moment to just say whatever is on your mind and stuff like that, but when you're talking about somebody's body or somebody's height, it's not a good thing. Prime example. I actually wrote about this on my Instagram, So if you're hearing this for the first time, you should be following me on my Instagram so you can be in the know in real time as life goes on. But over on my Instagram, I wrote about how I went to a concert with my friend and I met up with my one friend at her house because we were just going to go out there together, and we saw one of her other friends on the street and they stopped and they caught up, and I was just standing there. I didn't mind because we didn't have to be there for a good couple of hours, so I didn't mind just standing there and letting them have their conversation. I was in my own world mentally, so it was whatever to me. Then the friend turns to me and looks at me and says, oh, my gosh, you're huge. See that was the first thing that came out of her mouth. And I was immediately taken aback because it was like, whoa, you know, you didn't ask for my name, we didn't say hi. Nothing normal when you first meet somebody, you just straight up said, oh my gosh, you're huge. And she was like, how tall are you? So I said, yeah, I'm five ten and a half. She literally asks me to stand next to her so she can compare our heights and she did, in fact find out that she was shorter than me. I don't know. And then after that entire conversation, that's when she asks for my name and asks about me and what I do and all that other good stuff. And I'm just glad that it didn't affect me how it would have affected me when I was younger. But I don't know. Number One, I did not get that type of situation in a long time, So it just had me thinking like, huh wow, like it's been a while since that happened, like what's going on here? But also I was just like, you just met me and that's the first thing you had to say about me. Imagine if I was still self conscious about my height and saying the word huge, how would have that made me feel? If I still felt bad about being tall. Okay, yes, this wasn't necessary Saily a comment, but that interaction brought me back to the olden days where the comments and the names really affected me and had a negative impact on my self esteem. It really did bring me back to a bad time. Not necessarily the feelings, but I was just thinking about all of the things that people have said to me, and people have called me. Oh my gosh, I don't think you understand how many names I've been called in my lifetime. Giant tests, freaky, giant mommy long legs. Hold on, I got a list for y'all. Missus, slender Man, Candice Parker, Junior Sasquatch, giraffe girl. Should I continue? You know what? Don't even answer that, because I'm not gonna Twelve year old me was not having it. Twelve year old me was going through a very rough time. Not even just twelve year old me, seven year old, eight year old me, ten year old me. This happened a lot in elementary school. I think that this started around third grade ish, or that's at least when I actually remember a lot of it's starting. I actually don't think I remember a lot before third grade, but that's where a lot of the vivid memories are still in my mind. So third grade that's when it was just starting to get bad, and it just got worse and worse and worse up until I got into high school. But high school it was just a different story. But in that time, third to ninth tenth grade, that's when my self esteem was just really, really at an all time low. And what makes it worse is that I don't think people really understand the impact of their words. What's funny to them may be extremely hurtful to you, And when you voice that it's hurtful for you, they start to get defensive, They call you sensitive, They start playing the victim simply because you just said that you felt disrespected or hurt or judged. And that behavior is extremely itchy. So to the person who feels self conscious, who feels anxious, who feels bad because people are commenting on their height or their body, number one, I am so sorry that you have to go through that, because nobody should have to go through that. And number two, you are not alone. You are certainly not the only one, because there are other people who unfortunately go through the same thing, myself included, and as your favorite tall girl, as your tall bestie. I'm here to spell the secrets on how to keep your cool when you hear thoughtless comments about your height or your body. And number one is just understanding that people really don't understand what it's like to live in your shoes. They don't understand what it's like being tall. They may not understand what it's like being short, understand what it's being this, that, and the other when it pertains whatever pertains to you. I'm gonna tell you right now. Some people have never been told to stand in the back when taking pictures, have never been yelled at at concerts or movie theaters, and have never hit their foreheads on low doorways. And it shows they have never been in your shoes before. So their comment on your height is invalid simply because they don't understand the struggle. Listen, every time I enter my car, I always always always hit my head on the car doorway. It happens so much that I literally expect it, and the day that it doesn't happen, I know something is wrong. Their word or their words don't have any type of importance or any type of validity simply because they don't know what it's like to be you, and they don't know what it's like to have your body, so their comment is automatically docked down to the bottom, and people who have something negative or something bad to say that not constructive criticism is often extremely insecure. They hold a lot of insecurities within themselves, and they feel the need to project that onto other people, even complete strangers or even people who are nice to them, their friends, their family. They still feel the need to project their insecurities onto other people, make them feel bad, make them feel like they're not worthy, so that they can feel better about themselves. Because when they see that somebody else is feeling bad about themselves and they have the power to do that, that makes them feel slightly better, which is disgusting. However, their insecurities and their unhealthy coping mechanisms are their problem, not yours. It's also very important to reassure yourself and just be able to tell yourself that what they're saying is not necessarily true, especially if they are not important people in your lives or people that just entered into your life and don't really know you that well. How you talk to yourself is ten times more important than how other people talk to you. So in your mind whenever they're saying these bad things, or even afterwards, I think it's important to dissociate. That's often what I do. I just enter into a different world. But also reassuring yourself is saying what they're saying is not true. I am beautiful, I am smart, I am awesome, I'm this, that and the other. And when you reassure yourself like that, especially consistently and often, then you'll be able to see that what they're saying is not true. And you'll start to and you'll be able to keep your cool or keep your cop because you know in your mind that what they're saying is a bunch of crap. Also, there is no shame and planning a response. I'm talking about tall girl comebacks. Okay, not some of y'all are crazy with it. I'm not talking about how when somebody asks you, yeah, how's the weather up there, and you're like, yeah, it's raining, and you spit on them. I'm not saying to go to that extreme. But however, some people do warrant a response. But I think that it's better to keep it classy. I understand that you feel some type of way about yourself and you're trying to say that to me in order to bring me down. However, I don't like that, or I don't appreciate your comment, and I would really appreciate it if you would respect me, or I would really appreciate it if you didn't say stuff like that to me and about me, because it's herful, that's disrespectful. Just voice your opinion, voice how you feel in that moment, voice that you don't appreciate being disrespected and that you would like for them to not do that, and they can either choose to follow through with that, or they could just go back to how they were acting before being disrespectful. And that leads to the next thing is walking away. Because some people like gaslighting people. I don't understand how they get a kick out of it, but they will keep poking and prodding until they get some type of reaction out of you. But a reaction is simply what they want, and we cannot give them a reaction because then it would just look bad on our part. They'll start being like, oh my gosh, so and so was acting this way towards me, very negatively, very disrespectful. He or she called me this and that and all that stuff. They just blew up in my face. Like people will take that out of proportion and talk about you behind your back, and then that just feeds their ego because they had control over your emotions in that moment and they were able to get that or bring that side out of you. They were able to trigger you instead of giving them that thought or giving them what they want. Sometimes it's best to just walk away from the situation, walk away from the person in that moment before you blow up and act us way and then things just get worse. Sometimes it's better to leave things. Sometimes it's better to just leave things unsaid. Instead of just telling the person to their face. You can rant to a trusted friend or a trusted family member and just get that off your chest with somebody you trust rather than the person that's actually making things worse or making you feel bad. But I do need you to know that these comments are not your fault, these comments. You don't deserve these comments, and I understand how bad you can feel because of it. I've lived through it. I still go through it from time to time. Yes, with my height, but also with other things in my life. The older I get now, and people just think people just need to be more conscious of what they say to other people because, like I said before, they don't understand the impact of their words. They don't understand how it can affect somebody's self esteem, somebody's subconscious somebody day mood, etc. Whatever it may be. And it's just sad that a lot of people just say, just say a lot of things without putting too much thought into it. I feel like it would be a much better world if they actually did put some thought into it. But I can't even say it is what it is. It just shouldn't be that in the first place. So I hope that I provided some type of insight, some type of tip that could be helpful for you or even make you feel better for just a second with this episode, because I think I'm going to try to do more of these in terms of like dealing with comments and what people say and the name calling and stuff like that, because I think that that's one of the biggest reasons why our self esteem is just fairly low. But anyways, thank you so much for staying to the end and tuning in. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you as always, feel free to hit me up on my socials at It's All Girls Podcast and let me know how you've been feeling over these past few days. Is a hurricaneing where you're at? Are you dealing with comments and name calling and stuff like that? I genuinely want to know, And also feel free to leave me your review. Everything is going to be linked down in the description and I'll catch him the next one. Good night and goodbye,