Body Dysmorphia Is Ruining Tall Women's Lives | And Yet People Will Gaslight Us About It

Let's be real. As a tall woman, when was the last time you walked into a store and found clothes that properly fit. That's why so many tall fashionisas are turning to custom clothing for the perfect fit. But where can you find custom clothing that's also sustainable. That's where today's sponsor, Sumisura comes in. Sumisuura offers a fully digital made to measure system where you can design clothes down to the smallest detail and see real time visualizations before you buy, all without overproduction or waste. And we love a company that's all about sustainability. No more guessing and no more settling for clothes that don't fit quite right, because after all, you are anything but standard. Check out Sumisura. That is s U M I S s R, a dot com to dress the real you all o. Their links are going to be in the description and thank you again to Sumisura for sponsoring today's episode. Body dysmorphia. When people think about body dysmorphia, they usually picture someone standing in a mirror, fixating on certain parts of their body, or obsessing over their weight, or just not even fitting into societal standards. But rarely do people associate it with height. While many people, including other tall people, tell us that our height is a gift, body dysmorphia, sometimes coined as height dysmorphia, is something many tall women struggle with because our height can distort the way we see ourselves. So today we're breaking down how body dysmorphia is ruining tall women's lives and why nobody gives a good morning everybody. You are currently listening to a tall girl's podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls Podcast, on Instagram, TikTok, and pincher so that you can stay up to date on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my everyday life. Also, feel free to leave me your review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious and I have a monthly newsletter. Make sure you subscribe to that. Everything is going to be linked in the description. How do we feel about that intro? Y'all? Like I'm trying to try something new twenty twenty five. We wanna. I don't know about the whole new Year, new mead type of thing, but new Year, new kind of podcast intro. I don't know. I'm just trying to spice things up. I'm trying to make things more flavorful, you know what I mean. That sounds so weird, But anyways, let me know how you feel about the new way that I started this episode. Now, I'm sure you could tell that we're gonna be talking about body dysmorphia, and specifically body dysmorphia in tall women. But before we go further, let's define it. Body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder is a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. So essentially, you can't stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance, and these flaws can be minor or imagined. People who experience or have this disorder may often examine themselves in a mirror, constantly compare their appearance with that of others, and avoid social situations or photos. Now, body morphia intall women is a mental health condition where a woman who is considered tall excessively focuses on and is distressed by perceived flaws relating to her height. This can be anything from her overall stature, to her long limbs to even larger hands and feet, and these things can make her feel as though she appears unfeminine, unattractively large, and can even cause anxiety and can go as far as impact her daily life. And because it's in relation to height, it is often called height dysmorphia as well. The two tend to be interchangeable in how it relates to tall women and how they see their height, and it's often smaller moments in our life that can add up over time. A lot of these smaller moments that can have us thinking about and eventually obsessing over certain flaws or certain features of our bodies that relate to our height and us being tall women. Let's listen to an example of this really quickly in this clip. So that's a gym just now. Wow. Anyway, I'm at the gym, I'm doing my thing, and this woman who's also working out catches my eye because she's very tall, and I think to myself, wow, that woman is so tall. And then a few minutes later, I am closer to her, and I catch both our reflections in the mirror, and I realize for the same height were and I had like a body dysmorphia tall dysmorphia moment where I was like, wait, I was like, I just I just looked like that. I'm just I'm just tall, walking around like that head in the clouds, just just towering over. Anyway, it was a very real moment. And me and that woman also made eye contact at one point, and I wonder if she thought the same thing, like, God, damn, I just I can't believe I'm just daddy long legs just out in public. Now, I argue that that was a very basic, watered down example, but nonetheless it's still an example. Now, body dysmorphia is not to be confused with body insecurities. I feel, like I said point in time, no matter your height, or your body type or whatever, we have all had body insecurities at some point in our lives. But body dysmorphia goes deeper in that. Yes, we can have insecurities around our bodies, but we may also have a very distorted body image where we may see ourselves as much taller or sometimes even much shorter. Than we actually are, or we may see certain parts of our body, like our hands and feet, as much bigger than they actually are, or we may struggle to recognize our own bodies accurately. I'm going to play this clip really quickly to show an example of a distorted body image that a tall woman may have, and this particular example relates to certain parts of our body like her hands and feet. My feet are not just long, they're wide, they're thick. And again just going back to like the beauty standards and this aesthetic image of having these refined, dainty features that I just don't have, Like I've got JumboTron feet, I've got big hands, I'm a big girl, and so yeah, so those have just been like some of my challenges. I did ask you guys in a poll over on Instagram, which part of being tall were or are you most insecure? About fourteen percent said long limbs, arms, or legs, twenty six percent said larger hands or feet, and sixty percent said overall height. Wow, we have a clear winner here. I think for me personally, I was probably more insecure about my long limbs. I mean, yes, I was insecure about my overall height, but I just think that my long limbs kind of made the situation worse in a way. Like I, in comparison to the rest of my body, my legs just look abnormally long. Like there's three reasons people are tall, long legs, long torso, or long neck. I'm most definitely long legs. So when you look at my legs in comparison to the rest of my body, they just to me look freakishly long. I mean, now, I don't care, but beforehand, I was like, oh, like, I don't like wearing shorts like that, or I didn't really like wearing bathing suits because my legs just looked so so weird. So it's crazy. Well, I don't think it's crazy, but I'm part of the fourteen percent nothing' slung that I'm most Oh my gosh, I am most insecure about my long limbs, but overall height I can see that too. Also, just a quick plug here, if you want to participate in these polls and have your opinions heard on this podcast, make sure you follow me on Instagram at a Tall Girls Podcast. I'm also going to have that linked in the description. And just a little segue. I want to go back to the previous example that I gave, the one where she was at the gym and she saw another tall woman and whatever whatever she this could relate to body dysmorphia, heights morphia, This couldn't relate I don't know, but but she and Hwai kind of forgot that she was tall, and I was kind of like saying, because sometimes I forget that I'm tall until I go outside in public, like is that a tall person thing? Or is it just me? Like everything is all normal and dandy at home to an extent, but then when I step outside, I'm like, oh, right, I am tall. Could this play a part and body or hide dysmorphia? Who knows, But there are actually quite a few common things that can play apart and body dysmorphia. First up, as per usual, we have societal pressures, and there are really two sides to this, the first side being where we basically have to pretend to be small or basically downplay our heights so we don't come across as being aggressive or masculine. And then we have the other side where we have to always be grateful for our height and never feel like we can complain or vent about it or just talk about the struggles behind it, even though people have very interesting things to say about our heights. And then, of course we have fashion struggles. We all know the lack of representation out there for tall women, especially when it comes to bigger brands, but screw them, we got the small tall brands out here. It's no secret that big clothing brands don't cater to tall women because they don't see us as an important demographic. So they do one of two things. They either don't make tall clothing at all, or they make quote unquote tall clothing that makes us look crusty for lack of a better term, and it seems like more and more are choosing the latter. We also have the representation of tall women in the media, which I've spoken about in a couple episodes before, where tall women are often displayed as the villainous, intimidating character, or oftentimes we are fetishized in social media and work settings can also play a part in a tall women's body dysmorphia and could even affect job opportunities or relationships with our coworkers or our managers or whoever else. And I may do an episode on that where I talk about how our height as tall women, can you know, affect how people perceive us and how people treat us, and may even often play a part in our success or non existent success, if that even makes sense. But I'm probably gonna do an episode on that. And even dating can play a part in height dysmorphia, especially when we compare our height to our partners. The topic of dating as a tall woman is just because it's not just about how the other person sees your height in comparison to theirs. It's also about how you see your height in comparison to theirs. It's one thing if the other person thinks you're too tall in the relationship, but if you think you're too tall, we may have a crisis, I fear. Let's listen to this clip really quickly. I'm five to ten and I only have one ex boyfriend who was taller than six foot. The ex that I was most physically attracted to was five eight. Audience, feel weird about dating men shorter than me, but you know who did short guys? At an ex who bought shoe inserts to wear so that he could fill that like half shorter than he was of me. One guy went on like three dates with who was five seven and he wanted to stop seeing me because he couldn't get over the height difference. Oftentimes, it is not you being short that is the problem. It is your attitude about being short, and potentially your insecurity and lack of confidence surrounding your height and maybe other things in your life. I will say I am on a lot of guy's side when like girls who are five to four say, oh, I need a guy to be six five. It's like, girl you're five four, date a five to six guy because he's still gonna be taller than you like. Live with it. However, if you're a short guy who's complaining about, oh nobody wants to date me, but you also won't date a tall woman, I mean, that's just a different version of the same problem, right. I know not everybody likes a tall girl. I know guys sometimes like petit women. But you know, I don't care because a person who's gonna want to date me is gonna like me. So why do I care about the people who don't like tall girls? And why are you worried about the women who don't like short guys? I actually came across a writ a post that inspired this point, but also in Fired the episode in general, or at least sparked the idea of this episode. So in this post, essentially, it is a tall woman, well, eh, kind of tall. She's five eight and she's dating a guy who I believe she was dating at that time, a guy I believe who was five ten, and he has a bit of a smaller frame compared to the other guys that she's dated, and the emotional connection is there, but she can't get over the fact that a they are close in height, he's just two inches taller, and she feels like sometimes she can't wear heels around him. But also he appears to be a bit smaller than her in terms of his body frame. I feel like this is a great example of how high dysmorphia and even comparison height comparison could affect your life. In this case, it could potentially ruin a good relationship, which brings me to the point that body dysmorphia is ruining tall women's lives. The constant obsession over your height or even specific features like larger hands or larger feet can lead to anything from self comparison and anxiety all the way to unhealthy weight loss habits. Is this something that you struggle with, Just like how bodies slash hegh dysmorphia can cause us to feel unattractive or unattractively large, or even unfeminine or even the quote unquote bigger one in the relationship that you may have. It can also cause us to avoid social situations because we stand out so much and we don't want everyone's eyes on us, or we don't want anyone commenting on our height and pointing out the stuff that we're already very very insecure about and even like, or even the parts of us that we have a distorted image of. We may also see ourselves as intimidating, where we try to compensate for that, acting highly feminine out of character or even more timid, which may not always be great, especially in the workplace. And we can even struggle with self perception and seeing our bodies accurately. We're hyper aware of our height in many ways that go beyond numbers, self comparison, avoiding certain clothing, or even a sessing over our weight, which can eventually lead to unhealthy weight loss practices. You see how everything is connected in a way. I feel like like the avoiding social situations, the self comparison, even worrying or obsessing over our weight. A lot of these were individual podcast episodes, but they're all kind of like intertwined, I guess you could say, or just connected through one big major theme, and that is body or height dysmorphia. I did ask you guys in a poll over on Instagram, which of the following have you done the most because of your height? Thirty three percent of you guys said you would compare yourself and your height to others, thirty one percent said you would obsess over your weight, twelve percent said you would avoid going out, and twenty four percent said you would act very timid or feminine. This is very First of all, I'm glad that not a lot of you guys avoided going out, like please go outside, But obsessing over weight and self ca comparison, being taught well almost tied is kind of that's a lot. That's that's very shocking to me. It's very interesting. I think probably the obsessing overweight is something that shocked me because me and the very few other Toll girls that I was around growing up, that just wasn't really a thing for us. So I guess that wasn't really something that's common for me to think about or to see, so I find that very interesting. But I mean, as I've gotten older, it makes a lot of sense. I can understand it. So very interesting results here, and yet we have all of these struggles and people still dismiss that. I actually got a comment over on TikTok that people will gaslight her by saying guys don't care if you're tall after expressing an instance of random aggression that she's encountered from men. And that's the thing. Some people will gaslight tall women into thinking that they're ridiculous for seeing their height as an insecurity or even a struggle at times. But like, how would you feel if a random person start you in the middle of the street to ask if you are a man pretending to be a woman because you're so tall? Exactly? I don't know. The dismissive comments are kind of crazy to me, honestly, and I actually did a TikTok video response to that, so I may just play it here. It's the downplaying of your tall girl experiences for me, absolutely atrocious. People will literally tell you, oh, guys don't care if you're tall, or it's not that serious or you're just being sensitive. When you literally share something like someone stopped you randomly in the middle of the street to ask if you are a man pretending to be a woman because of your height. It's mind boggling to me and honestly quite exhausting. Just because they don't see it or experience it for themselves. That doesn't mean that it doesn't exist for us, but because this isn't something that they live through themselves, these experiences, it's just easy for them to brush it off as if it's just nothing. So if you constantly feel like you have to explain your tallness to someone, leave them alone. Okay, it's ridiculous out here. We're too cute to be stressed. But in my honesty, I feel like people, some people, not all, but some people honestly just dismiss those dismiss the things that we say, the struggles that we talk about relating to our height, because that's something that they secretly want. So instead of them seeing it as us just ranting or venting about it, they see us as complaining about something that they don't have. But maybe that's a topic for another episode. I'll think about that. But yeah, I'm gonna end the episode here. Thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you as always. Feel free to hit me up on my socials at a Tall Girls Podcast and let me know what you thought about this episode. You can also leave a comment if you're on YouTube and so forth, and let me know like what do you think, Like do you agree that hype dysmorphia and body dysmorphia can ruin tall women's lives? Like do you also think that people's dismissive comments are making it worse? I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts. And thank you again to today's sponsor, Sumisura. All of their links are going to be in the description and yeah, I'll catch all in the next one. Good night and goodbye.