Your Lack of Self-Compassion Is Ruining Your Confidence

Good morning everybody. You are currently listening to a Tall Girls podcast hosted by a tall girl named India. I hope everyone who is tuning in today is doing super fantastic. Before I get into this episode, I do want to say make sure you're following me on my socials at a Tall Girls podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and pincher, so that you could stay up today on all of the latest podcast episodes and catch a glimpse of my every day life. Also, feel free to leave me a review and let me know how tall you are. I'm genuinely curious. Everything is going to be linked in the description. Y'all, we have successfully finished our first week of school. We are you in school right now? Let me know, because if you are, we're in the same boat. If you didn't know, if you weren't here from the beginning last year. At this time, I've actually struggled around this time of the year because last year was my first year on campus. I spent my first two years of college online, didn't know anyone or anything at the school or about the school. So when I first went to school last year, which was around this time, I was struggling. I was struggling to make friends. I was struggling to make connections. I was struggling to find my group of people. So now going to school a year later and within the first week I have well, I already had the friends that I came in with, came into this year with from the previous semester, but this first week I just met so many new people and it was just nice to talk to them. A lot of them they are receptive, they seemed open to getting to know people, and they just seemed really cool and really fun. I actually hung out with one of them yesterday, so that was super nice. So I think that we had a very strong start in terms of that aspect of school. I also really liked the classes that I'm taking, so that's nice. Well, it's expected because is before I was taking prerequisites in those work classes that I really weren't interested in but I had to take. But now that I'm actually taking classes for my major, by the way, I'm an entrepreneurship major. Now that I'm taking more entrepreneurship classes, I am actually finding joy in going to school and learning, so that's nice. Overall, I think I would give it a seven out of ten because yes, I'm enjoying myself, meeting new people, taking classes that I actually like. But for some reason, the train system is just not going well. It's because they're doing track work, and they're supposed to be doing track work for a year, and of course you would pick the year that I'm going to be going to school full time, so that commute is getting longer and longer by the day. One day I'll have to take a certain set of trains, and then another day I have to take a different set because the first set of trains has delays. It's really confusing, but hopefully I will get used to it, and hopefully they'll speed up their track works so that I don't have to deal with the delays anymore. And something that's super cool to note, only two people asked me how tall I was, So if you ask me, that's progress. And it wasn't even on the first day. On the first day, nobody asked me how tall I was. It wasn't until the second day when the first person asked me how tall I was, And then I think it was two or three days later. Two or three days later the second person asked me how tall I was. So in the first week only two people asked me about my height, So I think we're making progress here. I think we're getting somewhere. One thing I did notice about this past week was that I was a little hard on myself. First week of anything, first week of work, first week of school, first week of I don't know, being on vacation, it's usually a little rocky. So yes, I was able to social lives with people and kind of start formulating a routine. But I was a little bit irritated with myself at some point because I just felt like I wasn't doing it fast enough. I was like, yeah, I wasn't making friends fast enough, making new friends fast enough. I did not get that chance to talk go and talk to that person, or say this to that person, or I'm starting to fall behind in certain things because now I'm getting all this homework and I have to prep for all these classes and set myself up for all these classes. So I'm not getting my work done fast enough because I had to take care of that. Just little things like that, and I would actually get kind of pissed with myself, which looking back at it now, it makes absolutely no sense because it's the first week. It's supposed to be chaotic. Actually, the first month is supposed to be like that, but I try to narrow it down to the first two weeks to try to get into the swing of thing, try to get a routine. But then, on top of that, it's also a holiday weekend currently, so I already have plans along with trying to set myself out from my classes and making sure that I'm doing all my work. It's just a lot, and I would get aggravated if things don't go according to plan and if I don't stick to the schedule to a t. But like I said before, I really had to do some thinking. Yes, I did some thinking, but I realized that it's the first week of school, it's supposed to be chaotic. But not only that, I also realized that when I was younger, I used to do the same exact thing relating to my height. I would actually talk badly to and about myself, like for example, if the pants. If I tried it on some pants and they weren't long enough, I'd be like, oh my gosh, my legs are too long. And I would just get extremely aggravated about the situation and just be like if I weren't still tall, then these pants weren't fit if I weren't so tall than this, that and the other. Or I would talk badly about myself or badly to myself if I embarrass myself, like if I tripped over my own feet. And that's the thing. It can't be tall without being clumsy. The long arms, the long torso, the long legs, something is bound to happen. Let me tell you. I have tripped over air, I've accidentally smacked people in the face, and so many other embarrassing things that I'd rather not share. But at this point that just comes with being tall. I can't do much of anything about it. But I would actually beat myself up over those things. Over embarrassing myself. I would just say the most negative things to myself. I would be like, oh my gosh, you're embarrassing yourself. You're too tall, you're too clumsy, you're this, that and the other, and a lot of things that a young person really should not say to themselves. It's extremely, extremely important how you talk to yourself. And because I was talking horribly about myself, and I was talking horribly to myself, that would negatively impact my self esteem, Like my self esteem was it wasn't even six ft under, it was ten feet under. My low self esteem was taller than me significantly. Even when I got stares in public, I thought something was wrong with me. I was thinking, is something on my face? Is there something wrong with my clothes? Is there a giant bug on my head? Why are y'all staring at me? And that brings me to a post that I saw over on Instagram that basically said that tall women who pretend not to notice when people stare at them are a different breed of people. And I wholeheartedly agree. You guys are so courageous. You please teach me your ways. I want to know how to do that, because it's hard to just not look back at the person and just be like or just make awkward eye contact with them. I don't want to go off on a tangent here, but what I'm trying to say is that talking negatively about yourself into yourself can really negatively impact your self esteem, and maybe having a little bit of patience and a little bit of compassion for yourself can actually help your confidence. You're probably like, what do you mean by that? I'm just saying that self compassion is important in self confidence because you tend not to beat yourself up over your quote unquote flaws. You treat yourself with kindness, You celebrate your positive attributes personality wise and physically. You just see yourself as a human being who deserves to be treated nicely and spoken too nicely and respected. And with that, I believe it's important to understand that it's okay to take up space, it's okay to be seen, and it's okay to be heard. But what's not okay is being overcritical of yourself or talking harshly to yourself over things that you can't control. It's important, Actually it's imperative. You know, it's required, It's mandatory by the law of a Tall Girls podcast. It's required that you talk to yourself as you would talk to a loved one. You're not gonna go up to your best friend. You're not gonna go up to your mom, your dad, maybe even your sibling and be like you you are so embarrassing, or oh, your legs are too long, or oh, like why you like this, and stuff like that, Like you wouldn't say the bad things that you say to yourself to your best friend or to your parents or to your sibling, or at least I'm hoping that you don't do that. If they make a mistake or if they embarrass themselves in some type of way, you would give them some type of encouragement. You would probably be like, it's okay, it's not that deep. People are going to forget about it, or you're gonna do better next time, or you can find a better person, or you can find a better this, and you would just give them words of encouragement to let them know that it's okay that they made that mistake or it's okay that they embarrass themselves, as long as they try to bounce back from it and become a better person from that experience. And it's really important to take that type of energy they could give to them and also give that to yourself. I'm not saying to not give that to them. Yes, give that to them, but also just save a little piece, save a little slice of the cake, a little slice of the pie for yourself, you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong. A little bit of negative self talk is okay. We all do it at times. It's good to have that balance of positive self talk and negative self talk. But too much of anything is not a good thing, just like how too much positive talk isn't a good thing. Too much negative talk isn't a good thing. It's good to be our own critics. It's good to critique ourselves. It's good to give ourselves constructive criticism so that we can improve on our weakness and our shortcomings. But if we just are so overcritical over every single thing, if we're overcritical on every single parts of our bodies or every single parts of our personalities, or or over analyzing a situation that happened five years ago, and you're still calling yourself stupid or dumb about it, that is that's a little much. That's not okay. Some things, a lot of things, many things we just have to let go of and we have to move past. And having that patience within yourself is ultimately what's going to help you become the confident person that you want to be. So, no, it's not your fault that the pants are too short for you. Your legs are not too long for the pants. The pants just happen to be too short for you. I want you to listen to that part again. Your eggs are not too long for the pants. The pants are just too short for you. There's a difference, So hopefully you can if you take anything from this episode, hopefully you can take that with you into the rest of your week, into the rest of the month, and to the rest of the year and into the rest of your life. Something that I want you to do over the next couple of days is just when you find yourself talking negatively to yourself, just catch yourself and have just a little bit of compassion and just say that what happened happened. Things are like this for a reason, and I'm not going to beat myself up over for it, because there's just so much more to life than speaking badly to yourself. And there's so many kind things and so many nice things that you can say to yourself that will help you in the process. And if not, I will say those kind words to you. You are awesome, you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are lit and I just vibe with you period. So all in all, my main message is that having compassion for yourself is important in building your confidence, and don't let negative self talk bring down your self esteem because you deserve so much better than that. So yeah, I'm gonna end this episode here. Thank you so so much for tuning in. I really appreciate it, and I appreciate you as always. Feel free to hit me up on my social set It's All Girls Podcast, on Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest, and let me know what your week has been like. If you just started school, or just started work, or just started anything new I want to know, hit me up and let me know. We could talk about that. And if you are struggling with talking negatively to yourself or not being compassionate towards yourself, we could also unpack that too. I'm down for a chit chat. Also, feel free to leave me a review and let me know how to tell you. Like I said earlier in the episode, everything is linked in the description and I'll catch in the next one. Good night and goodbye,